As my husband backed out of the driveway, en route to the airport, the guy on the radio made a comment that fall was here. Did he have that wrong. Fall is gone where I live and winter has arrived. No more shorts and tank tops, flip flops or capri pants. It’s sweatshirts, long johns, cuddleduds and wool socks from here on out.
I’ve already determined to stay by the gas fire this winter. Helps the aches and pains not ache so much.
So, my flight…
I realized again today that I have Parkinson’s Disease. Some days you get by with feeling like you’re sort of ‘normal’. Of course we all know that with PD comes a new normal.
Realizing again that I have PD means having to confront the monster – this intruder – face to face, whether you want to or not. Every once in a while you have to be reminded that you are different than other people your age. You look younger than you feel and you feel older than you are. Today was my reality check with the monster.
I boarded the plane. So far so good. Got everything checked in. Got on the wrong plane. Got buckled. Found out. Got off. Got back on. Took an empty seat next to my flight mate who happened to have done the same thing. Embarrassment is always better with two.
We arrived in Seattle a little earlier than my original flight, which I would come to recognize as a blessing.
I didn’t realize how much I have slowed down. After exiting the plane, by the time I got to ground level, I had a following. It was much like when you’re driving up a hill in an old clunker. You’re going as fast as it will take you but not fast enough for the umpteen cars lined up behind you, their drivers politely keeping their hands off their horns all the while hoping for a turn out so you’ll over and let them zoom by in their faster cars.
Well, today I was an old clunker. At least I felt like it. The line in front of me got further and further away as the line behind me got closer and closer behind until finally, I found a turn out and let them all go by.
There is a verse that says God works all things together for good. I got on the wrong plane by accident but it was one of those ‘things’ that God was working for my good. I needed that extra half hour after landing to get to the next gate, because while my spirit said I had just as much energy as those who had backed up behind me and were ready to race by, my monster mocked me and reminded me that sometimes – I’m an old clunker.
I boarded the next flight. This time the correct one. And we arrived on time. I got off the plane and went through the same thing. Backed up line – pulled over at the nearest turn out. I wanted to cry. I wanted to get a ride. I wanted someone to carry me. I wanted to be well.
But I’m not ‘well’ and though the monster threatened to laugh in my face and remind me that I can’t do what I used to, I didn’t cry. I didn’t get a ride or have anyone offer to carry me. Instead, I kept walking, realizing I’ve arrived at a ‘new’ normal, yet again.
I am slower and my steps are shorter. Some call it the PD shuffle. But, this new dance—this shuffle—it’s part of life—my life. My new normal. I can view it as a monster or, I can see it as a blessing in disguise. After all, the slower you go, the more you see. And there’s so much to see when you’re not in a hurry to zoom by the old clunkers that seem to hold you up from going through life at a faster pace.
Next time this old clunker is running slow, I’ll pull over again and be thankful for smaller steps and the opportunity to see what others may miss. Especially if I’m on the wrong flight.
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