Tag Archives: YOPD

Life Lessons Using A Rubber Duck

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Well, it’s time for an update of some sort, don’tcha think? Time goes by sooooooooo fast and other days, seems so slow. Sounds like a song.

I met a new PD’er online. Now there’s three of us who are addicted to online PD conference chats at 3 in the morning because the RLS is keeping us up (and alert) or the meds to stop the RLS is keeping us up (and alert). Which do you prefer? Survey says…

Well, we are trying to sell our home. Not easy these days, you know. I was struggling with all of the issues surrounding this big thing in my life and for this entry, I wanted to share what I learned. This comes from another blog I do called Planting Gardens – www.plantinggardens.blogspot.com. Here it is:

LIFE LESSONS WITH A DUCK
by Sherri Woodbridge

I have come to my mom and dad’s, to spend some time with them. I think I am also trying to spend some time getting my emotions, feelings, thoughts and feelings under control. I cannot stop crying when I think of my kids and having to leave them, not knowing the next time when I will see them again.

Is that what is known as the empty nest syndrome? Is there some way to get those feathery fellows to fly home? Is this part of ‘letting go’? I suppose it is, but surely I do not have to like it. I am most certain Paul did not like going to jail and yet, he praised God while he was there.

There is a song that goes something like this:

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be His name

He gives and takes away

My heart will truly say…

Lord, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out,

I’ll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in,

Still I will say,

Blessed be your name.

He gave me my family and in a sense has chosen to take most of them away by moving them to other parts of the country. In this darkness that seems to be enveloping me, I can choose to cower to it or I can choose to praise Him in spite of it. Will my heart truly say, Lord, blessed be your name?

I am awake and the rest of those in the house are sleeping. I have opened the shades to watch the water rush by in the river before me. It is running fast and the river is full.

A duck is floating down the river. He floats alone, seeming quite content and to be enjoying his trip. As the river carries him downstream, he does not fight it. Then he appears to slow down and drift to the side, sitting for about ten minutes as he preens himself.

For some odd reason, I feel anxious for him as he wades to the side – alone. Where is his family? Where are his friends? Why is no one else coming? Doesn’t he know that if he keeps going and doesn’t go back he’ll most likely drown at the falls?

A thousand thoughts crowd my mind, as I panic for this duck. Then I notice – he doesn’t appear worried at all. He is still quite content, over there on the side by himself.

I can be like that duck, if I choose. I can allow God to take me downstream, through rushing waters, knowing not where the river will take me and enjoy the ride – alone. I would prefer to be traveling down that river with all of my family around me, knowing they are there if I need them – being there if they need me. But ultimately? All I really need is to trust God and lean on Him alone. All I really need is… Him. He will take me safely and securely, allowing me to drift off to the side every now and then to find renewed strength and rest.

I continue to watch that duck and as he starts back out for another jaunt, he only goes about ten feet on his next venture before trying to go back upstream – back to where he came from. As I watch him, he struggles in his fight, going in the opposite direction from where the river is trying to take him.

It is then that I realize – that is what I am doing. I am fighting God. I want to go back upstream to where I came from, to how it used to be – Sunday dinners with everyone there, game nights, making homemade ice cream, watching Boo – seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Yet, for some reason, God has taken me down this river of life. It
is a river that twists and turns and even so, while not having the slightest idea of where it is running to, unaware of what is around the bend, oblivious of where I am going to end up, I hear Him whisper, Will you trust Me?

Will I? Will I drift to the side and rest a while, allowing God to be the one to fill the hole in my heart? Will I sit there with Him, letting Him be the one who dries my tears as He pushes away the darkness that surrounds me? Will I realize that He is the river that takes me to unknown places? Will I quit fighting Him by trying to swim back upstream to what used to be?
Will I turn to Him, with an aching heart and still say, Blessed be Your name?

In surrender, I pull up my webbed feet that have become strong from fighting and trying to go my way, and I allow Him to bring me to His side and rest.

Yes. I will trust Him. After all, He is all I need.

Oh Lord, forgive me. This morning I prayed for new eyes to see you in my life and you gave me a new picture by using, of all things, a duck. Help me to be like that duck – content with just You – needing only You. Help me to float down this river of life with You, knowing You will take care of me, pushing away the darkness that closes in. When I am tired and my heart aches, pull me to the side and hide me under Your wings, just as a mother bird protects her young. Then, when it is time to float again, let me not look back and want to go back upstream, fighting You in the process but to look ahead, even if I don’t know where You are taking me. I want to trust You. No matter where You take me or how I may get there, at each turn, I want to look to You and say, blessed be Your name.

I would encourage you that if you’re struggling with anything today, there is a God who cares and is waiting to take you under His wings and hold you close. All you have to do is… let Him.

Live Today

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raised hands

I received an email from someone concerned that they may have the beginnings of Parkinson’s Disease. I have met others who have PD, but not someone in the throws of wondering if the symptoms that they are experiencing are, in fact, PD.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I think because it takes me back to my diagnosis, to my days of wondering what was going on. I can relate so well and, I can understand, all too well.

He is scared, wondering if he does have PD, and I am able to look back and see myself where he is now – scared, uncertain, and desperate. I can now see that, even though the future is still uncertain, I have been blessed with a wonderful doctor, the support of friends and family and more than anything, been given the opportunity to encourage and come alongside of others. I was not able to see those things then, the fear taking away everything else that was in my future and leaving a sense of hopelessness.

Isn’t the future, in reality, uncertain for each of us, whether we have been diagnosed with a disease or not? None of us knows how the end will turn out or when will be the last time we will tuck our babies in bed at night.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes:

“Dance as if no one were watching,
sing as if no one were listing,
and live everyday as if it were to be your last.”

That is how I want to live each day, whether I am fighting with PD or making peace with it. I want to dance without reserve, even if I stumble. I want to sing at the top of my lungs, even if others think I’m still whispering. And, I want live each day as if it is my last opportunity for anything, even if I am given a tomorrow.

It is a hard thing to do – to live like that. There are so many distractions, so many reminders that we are not ‘whole’. With distractions that plunge their way into our daily paths and constant reminders from our bodies that struggle against their own desire to be free from disease, we can, however, choose to have the attitude of living life to its fullest and enjoying the journey, even if it’s not the one we would have chosen. It always seems better to wear a face of hope than that of despair.

I would like to encourage all of you, whether you have been dealing with a disease of any kind, whether you have just been diagnosed, or perhaps you are wondering if the symptoms that have just started are anything worth fretting over – live this day as if it were your last – dance and sing. Do it without reserve. I dare you. Oh, and don’t forget to tell someone you love them – at least once.

Hiding

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We try to hide from the world when we feel inadequate, abnormal and different. It’s a natural defense but can be destructive. Hiding ourselves away from the world can be natural in order to defend ourselves from others and their inquisitive, lack of understanding minds.

I was talking to my neighbor one day and my hand began to shake quite a bit and she asked, “What’s the matter with you? Am I making you that nervous?”

She found out I had Parkinson’s that day and she doesn’t know quite how to deal with ‘it’.

Illnesses are funny things. We want to hide because of how they can make us feel. Others want to hide from us because of how our abnormalities can make them feel. It can be uncomfortable for both parties. People don’t know how to approach someone with a handicap or an illness – they don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to respond.

May I suggest, next time you find yourself in a situation like that described above, be the first to break the ice. Be the first to take off the mask you may be hiding behind – that of fear and rejection or feeling abnormal. Others will be more comfortable when they see you are.

I’ll Have It His Way

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I went to see a movie the other night with my daughter. Now, don’t laugh…

High School Musical 3 – Senior Year.

I haven’t watched the first two movies, but have heard from various sources that they were commendable. So, as I’m a sucker for musicals and while my husband and son went to the shoot ‘em up production in the theater adjacent to us, we went in to see ours.

We were the only people in there and had a great time. The only problem with these types of movies though… The repressed desire to sing and to dance is reawakened (much to my family’s despair). I left the theater singing The Boys are Back. I added a few little moves to the words that I could remember (which were few) and a couple dance moves. Yes, the attendant behind the snack bar laughed. And then in one of my graceful moves, I threw out my back. The pain seared through the entire middle. Fortunately, it didn’t last too long.

What was unfortunate, however, was facing my PD once again. Knowing that no matter what my heart desires, this PD – this thief – will determine whether I can do it or not. It won’t be my decision to make.

But…

If I had my way, I’d join a dance class and learn to waltz.

If I had my way, I’d go skiing one more time.

If I had my way, I’d play softball and hit a homerun and run all the bases myself.

If I had my way, I’d put my own socks and shoes on.

If I had my way, I’d insist that I can do it myself.

If I had my way, I’d do many things.

Things that I used to be able to do when I had my way.

But today is different. I can’t have my way. PD has seen to that.

I’ve had to learn to receive and not always be able to give.

I’ve had to learn dancing will have to wait, at least for now.

I’ve had to learn skiing is not for me.

I’ve had to learn others are willing to do what I cannot do.

I’ve learned, unlike Frank Sinatra, that I don’t always have to have or do it my way.

And that’s okay, because I know that for some reason, this path I am on is His way and that’s the only direction I want to go. I also know that when I reach the destiny He has set before me, He will be waiting on the dance floor of heaven, just for me.

Fact or Feeling?

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I used to wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see… and comment on. Not that I wanted to. Who am I kidding? I still wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see… and comment on. Not that I want to.

It is a curse, one might say, to be so vulnerable. It is a curse in the sense that you want to keep the feelings that are so deeply felt, hidden away so no one can see. Really, so they can’t mock or tease or condemn. At least it feels that way sometimes.

It is a curse in the sense that you want to keep those feelings that are so deeply felt, hidden so you don’t have to deal with them. Feelings of loss. Feelings of isolation. Feelings of inadequacy. Feelings you have when you have what others don’t. And you want to keep them hidden because they don’t, they won’t, they can’t understand.

Mulitple Schlerosis.

Lupus.

Pancreatic Cancer.

Alzheimers.

Breast Cancer.

Alzheimers.

Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Prostate Cancer.

Crone’s Disease.

Unless you’ve got it, or a disease like it, you won’t, you don’t, you can’t get it. You can’t understand. Not that you don’t want to, but you just can’t. Not fully, anyhow.

You can sympathize, you can pity, you can encourage and support, but you can’t understand. And so, some try to empathize, rationalize, apologize and humorize the situation. But sometimes, it’s not funny, there’s no rational reason one awakes day after day to face their foe in the mirror, nor is it anyone’s fault that they or a loved one suffers with a disease.

I guess I’ve felt a bit frustrated of late, feeling as if some people in my life ‘don’t get it’. I get to the point that I don’t want to even mention PD because it is viewed as an excuse for pain, stiffness, memory loss, or any other ailment I might be experiencing at the time. Sometimes it seems that the fact of my disease, being ever present in my body, has disappeared from sight to the outer world. Yet, I know it is there as it hides within and can definitely be felt moment by moment.

As recipients of a disease or illness, we try when our bodies and our energy levels permit, to do what we are able – garden, write, work on cars, play games, socialize… We have a new vision for the short time we are allotted here on earth and strive to make the most of it. There are some days we feel we could climb a mountain ( a little one) and there are other days when we know we can’t even walk to the base of a hill. It may even hurt to glance upward to look into the sky. These are the days when sometimes others watch us (me) and I wonder if they think PD can’t be so bad. Look at her! She’s digging up flowers! No one with a disability would have that much energy or strength.

To be fair, I often don’t, just as others I know with PD don’t. We push ourselves in the tasks we yearn to function in and finish because it feels good to be used, to be useful, to work, to move. Yes, we push even in the pain because, at least for me, the pain says I’m alive, I can still do it – today. And yes, it also cautions me to take it a little easier, but not so easy that all that is left is to sit and watch life instead of participate in it.

I may wish to hide what’s going on inside, but I’ve never been good at it. I wear a feeling of loss at times, because the fact is, I’ve lost something – control. And I wear a feeling of isolation – a feeling of being alone in the fight. I wear inadequacy by feeling I can’t do, can’t offer what I used to. Everything’s just a little harder to accomplish. But as hard as things may be at times by dealing with something others can’t understand, people mean well. They intentions are honorable and they are trying to deal with this intruder from a different angle: it’s taken a part of the one they love or it’s trying to.

So I guess I’m thankful that sometimes I wear my heart on my sleeve because sometimes I don’t want to give this monster any more attention and talk about it. But sometimes I need to and that’s when someone asks how it’s going and if my answer is a little less than accurate, they glance at my heart laying there bare for all to see and re-examine my answer.

You sure? they ask after receiving a less than convincing ‘Okay’ response.

Fine. You’ve got me. I’ve got PD and no, I’m not okay. Today I just really need a friend.

I Wish

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I wish I could form words without someone thinking I was drunk

like saying, “Yes I do think” instead of “Yes I did thunk”.

I wish I could carry a glass with cold ice without shaking

and rattling so loud it sounded like a martini I was making.

I wish I could speak loudly so others didn’t say “Quit muttering”

I wish I could snap back and say, “Well then you quit your stuttering!”

I wish I could walk without dragging my feet

and stay in step with others instead of always feeling beat.

I wish I could not take pills to make me stand straight

oh my gosh – now that would be GREAT!

I wish I could walk without dragging my feet

and almost trip when others I meet

I wish I could hold things without fear of them dropping

but am thankful I still can walk without always stopping

I wish the pain in my neck and back would disappear

But the stiffness just gets worse is what I hear

I wish brain surgery wasn’t in the future for me

but what is – is and what must be will be

I wish things were different for me

I wish the same for others with this thing called PD

but they’re not and that’s okay

for I’ve learned to be content anyway

I’ve got friends who live near and far

friends who know just who they are

some who understand and some that just care

walking with them I have learned to bear

oh how I thank God for all of it, you see

For without PD these things would not be

the friends, their concern, the many lessons learned

even when my heart’s been heavy, my hope has turned

to the One who’s never left me to walk unsteady

the One who stands faithful, true, protective and ready

oh my Jesus, how can I say how great You are

without tears falling from my face, captured in your jar

tears of fear, tears of pain

tears of weakness turning to strength in You I gain

how can I live one moment of my life

whether filled with smiles or filled with strife

I have seen purposes and plans

that could only have come through Your hands.

so I just want to say thank You

honor, praise and glory to You alone are due

I want to shout Great are You Lord Almighty

for loving, protecting, and carrying me.

**A Friend’s Trip

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The following is a post that was first published on ‘Parkinson’s Journey’, my PD site. It was initiated by my co-author partner of PJ and good friend, Judy Hensley, about her trip that she recently made out west to see four PD friends that had never met in person before this. This is what they had to say about each other after meeting…
About My Friend Karen (by Marian)
I used to think that courage meant not being afraid. I used to think that strength meant not crying when your heart was breaking. Then I met Karen. She showed me that courage means going on even though you’re afraid, and strength means reaching out to others even though you’re crying. Karen has looked into the eyes of despair and rejected it. She has laughed through her tears and defied the odds. She has reached out with a strong hand to help others while her world was turning upside down. She is a wise woman and a joyful (and sometimes frightened) little girl all at the same time, and I’m so proud and happy to say that she is also my friend.
Love ya,
Marian

About my friend Sherri (by Judy)
I learned alot about my friend Sherri when she came to visit me in Tennessee in January, so this is a cumulative summary of some of her characteristics. Sherri is of course a writer, so she soaks up things about people without much outward interaction at first. And then I think she evaluates a person or situation with her heart and mind and interacts in a most sensitive manner. She may seem shy upon first meeting her, but then when she speaks what she says is very thoughtful and sincere. She is tentative about sharing much about herself at first, and she puts on the front of handling life with PD quite well, but I’m pretty sure that is because she puts all the hard life stuff in God’s hands. Her faith is a strength much greater than her own because she has experienced God’s strength in her life before and knows she can depend on it above all others.

While at her home. I got to see her with the ones who make her most proud – her family – but I love the look on her face when she talks about and plays with her ‘bright spot’…her one year old granddaughter. It is a very special bond they share! And I got to share for an afternoon planting and digging in the dirt with her–another one of her passions. And I learned, here is one way we are different….I like admiring the end result of it all…the lovely garden, and will gladly leave the diggin’, sweating, and wondering if what I just planted will grow process to others like her! lol

Sherri may look like she is too serious (PD masked facial look) but she can get zany and silly just as fast as the rest of us!! And her KGB jokes are a riot! To me though, the most impressive characteristic and the trait I most admire in her is her compassionate heart. You immediately sense it, you know it by her words and actions, and in her writings as well. She is selfless, funny, and a wonderful person to know and call my friend.. Thanks Sherri for making my adventure so very special. 4 ever admiring your heart….judy

About my friend Judy (by Karen)
It was nearly two years ago Judy and I met online through a support forum known as Patients Like Me (PLM). She reached out to me through an instant message system they had at PLM. From there a friendship began to blossom. It would not take long before I would really learn exactly what Judy was all about…OK well maybe not exactly she just too unique of an individual for that! Judy has a heart of gold and a spirit of passion for God that stretches beyond the heavens. She has a sense of humor that is infectious especially when she starts to laugh and she also knows how to be not only a compassionate friend, but also giving.

I will never forget the time I came home from work in the afternoon; I was feeling not only emotionally beat up by Parkinson’s but also physically. I had been home on disability and had gone back to work, which was grueling every morning for me. One particular day stands out in my memory; I was too ill to continue my day at work and had to leave after only being at work a few hours. I called Judy on my cell phone en-route home in tears. I felt not only disappointed and betrayed by my body, but embarrassed to admit to my employer that I was having a hard time working a full day. After I had been home for a while my telephone rang; it was Judy on the other end giggling and telling me that when my front door bell rang to open it and sign the paper and please add a tip…I said “What???” she continued to giggle to the point she was in tears on the other end and gasping to catch her breath and then blurted out to me “what kind of pizza do you like??” Yep you guessed it the bighearted Tennessee wild woman ordered me lunch…all the way from Tennessee…I have never had anyone do that for me! Not only was I surprised but so was her credit card company when they called her concerned someone in CA had gotten a hold of her credit card and was using it!! Looking back upon the memory of that very day showed me the heart this gal has for her friends.

Last week Judy made a trip out to the west coast and Marian (another CA gal) and I were on the list of visits…we had a grand time with Judy, Sherri, Marian and myself…No one but Judy could preplan the fun she had in store for us…she went out to the car and returned with a bag filled with small cups of different colors of Play dough…giggled and said “OK everyone pick 3!” We laughed, we sculpted, it was great fun to see four women ranging in age from their 40’s and 50’s so young at heart, each intensely immersed in creating masterpieces! Judy you truly are a wonderful, energetic, vivacious woman…thank you for your friendship!

About my friend Jeanette (by Judy)
I really think I threw my friend in Washington state, Jeanette, a curve ball she never expected when I asked her if I could come and visit her! That’s just the way she is …unassuming the power of her friendship and the blessing of her attitude. If there was a bubbling- over joyous-friend award, she would get it! I so wish she could have come along on the rest of my adventure with me….she would have fit right in…lil bit serious…whole lot of fun and giggles. The other thing so special about Jeanette is how much she just loves people and children and animals. She finds something good in everyone and everything to be grateful to God about. I had the joy of attending her church with her on Sunday morning and it was just a great time of fellowship. Later that day we went on a ferry boat ride and talked Jeanette into coming to Tennessee to visit sometime in the near future. I’m holding her to that promise, no matter what! The thing I absolutely love about Jeanette is her laugh! It is so fun filled and she uses it alot. And she also has the best dead pan humor that is always got me grinning. So Jeanette is my joyful friend. Don’t misunderstand, she has her days too when life gets hard, but it doesn’t take her long to look and find a blessing to claim or something to laugh about in it all, and that’s an amazing thing, I think! Lov ya kiddo…looking forward to you coming to see me in TN!
Judy

About My Friend, Marian (by Sherri)
She walked around the corner as we exited the hotel and I could tell it was Marian by her smile, which matched the one on her Daily Strength and Facebook profiles. We had never officially met, only through the exchange of emails and updates through the PD community.

Marian is quiet and shy but once we all met and exchanged greetings, it was as if we all knew each other forever. Marian makes you feel important and rarely talks about herself but instead asks about you. She has an extremely strong vocabulary, evidenced by her competitive spirit in a game of Cranium. So much so that we blew Judy and her team clear out of the water in that round. An avid reader of such novels such as Moby Dick, she focuses on the importance of its message and not necessarily the size of the fish or what the author chose to name such a massive fish.

If I could use one word to describe Marian, it would be ‘charming’. I’m not sure why, except that is what came to mind. She is funny, witty, innocent in her own way – perhaps it’s because she made an extraordinary ukulele snake charmer couple, complete with baby snakes, out of an ordinary lump of Play-Doh.

Whatever the reason, Marian is a warm and wonderful person who went from being an acquaintance over the internet into a warm and wonderful and wacky person I am honored to call ‘friend’. God is good.
Sherri

About 4 wild women I read about on Facebook by Jeanette (as described by phone to Judy) note: Jeanette knows all four of us online but had only met Judy in person (isn’t she lucky?). For her assignment she was to pick some words or phrases to describe Judy, Sherri, Karen, and Marian from the pics on Facebook of Judy’s trip:
Jeanette on Judy…”drop-dead gorgeous” (further evidence of her insane humor and need for new glasses!), courageous, uniter, joyful (gee, thanks J!–your check is in the mail, lol

Jeanette on Sherri–struggling (to stay awake??? she did drive awhile), deep, enduring, and a great friend (and Judy agrees!)

Jeanette on Karen–love her smile, infectous attitude, intense (note from J: as in Dr. Fernandez –but if she had witnessed the Cranium game she might change this description…lol–you had to be there…no way to describe !)

Jeanette on Marian–looks like she gets along well (with PD and others) and Sparkles as well as great PlayDoh modeler.

**Bittersweet Lessons

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It began with “Welcome”, posted on a website. A health website in an area for those with Parkinson’s Disease or someone caring for a person with Parkinson’s Disease. The ‘Welcome’ has turned into lifelong friendships that have developed through laughter, heartache and commonality… we all have PD.

Two days ago I met a friend who I have known for over two years and just had the blessing of meeting personally. A friend who also has Parkinson’s disease. She met me at the airport in her famous, ‘da Coat’, overcoat and the friendship has grown by leaps and bounds since that moment.

I suppose so far the highlight has been today, after an exhausting (due to lack of sleep) evening at her women’s retreat and getting to know her friends. I have been immensely blessed by their company and hospitality. After cleaning up after the gathering, we went back to her house (this morning) to work on our PD site, Parkinson’s Journey. Afterward, she took me to a friend’s home, who also had a friend visiting from out of town. These two women also have PD.

This has been my first experience meeting anyone else with PD. It gave me a reality check in two major areas. First, realistically confronting the facts of this disease and second, the blessings of this disease.

First, the confrontation. After meeting Judy (‘da coat owner) in person and watching her, the realization of where this monster (PD) is headed hit me in the face (not literally of course, but it actually felt like it could have happened). After meeting Peggy (TNPeg to some out there) and seeing where she has traveled on her PD journey (she recently underwent a clinical trial for PD that involved having five holes drilled into her head), once again, I was hit in the face. Hard. This monster has no mercy. It has no preference of attack. It does not care who it hits. Young children, young mothers, young fathers, spry grandfathers, first time grandmothers, elderly parents – it doesn’t play favorites. It will attack them all and leave them to fend for themselves in what could be a useless shell. It knocks them to the floor. It will laugh when they cannot voluntarily move their feet. It will mock when others stare as you flail about without control.

But it will not win.

In the pain, the struggle, and the heartache, there is a blessing. The blessing of joy.

It will show up in the darkest hours. It will shine through the things we can still do. Like painting a mural on the side of a barn. It will radiate gratitude in knowing that five out of ten fingers still work pretty good. It will weep with joy on the days that are ‘pretty good’, because there are days that are pretty bad. The monster (PD) may appear for a battle, but it will not win the war when hope and joy stand as its defense.

The facts are, PD doesn’t get better. It can be controlled to a point, but it won’t get better. Though it won’t go away (unless God wills it), the sorrow over its presence in our lives can, if we look at the to God and the blessings in the trials and tribulations throughout this journey.

It is hard. Many times blessings come through hardship. They can sometimes definitely be easier to see when we in the midst of a hardship because we are elated when something good finally seems to happen in the middle of a hard time. The blessings can almost tend to stand out. However, they can be hard to see if we get caught up in pain and sorrow and lose hope.

This week I have watched these women of faith, women who are filled with hope, strive to maintain some sense of ‘normalness’ in their lives and hold on to some measure of control of their bodies. This week I realized, that is what I also try to do. I guess I call it pressing on.

I have wept in silence for these women. Some not only deal with their own disease (PD), face to face, day after day, but some are carrying loads that press in on every direction, often leaving anyone else to give in instead of pressing on. One woman is grieving over her mother’s battle with reoccuring cancer and the war with chemotherapy treatments. She also runs errands for her father in-law who has just been admitted to a nursing home for health problems.

Where does her hope come from? The kind of hope that allows her to stand when she has no strength left? The kind of hope that allows her to smile in the face of despair? A hope that perseveres in the midst of the trials and tribulations of this life? Her hope comes from her Savior. It seems so appropriate that the One who saved us, saves us continually from much.

Paul said, ”

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. …Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”
(Philippians 1:2-12)

Joy can be found in the midst of trials – if we believe there is a purpose in those trials. What if the only purpose was just to develop perseverance? Would that be enough reason to press on? Would it be enough reason to know that you were going through a hard time merely so that God could teach you to not give up?

That is easy to ask but tough when considering the response. However, if you consider the rewards of learning to persevere, it may be easier to answer.

Perseverance produces maturity. Completeness. Character. Not only does that staying power produce the kind of character that pleases God – a maturity and completeness in Him – but what a promise we are given if we persevere for His sake, to receive the crown of life! Yet, Paul says this comes when we persevere under trials. The kinds of trials and test that God allows in our lives. Tests that can feel as if they will claim the best of us. Storms in our lives that feel as if we will drown in the smashing waves and be thrown against the rocks, left to wash ashore limp and lifeless. Trials that claim ownership of our strength and hope and joy and strive to leave us empty. Tribulations that trap us into a dark crevice which close in on us, inch by inch of every passing day and chide us into believing the sun will never shine again.

But God made a promise to those who love Him. The promise that these things in life that hurt, that often make no sense, would make us better. Even if they don’t make us well.

That is the blessing of our trials – our diseases, our losses and sufferings, betrayals, and more. The blessing of not only receiving the crown of life, but knowing that we were allowed those trials because we are loved by a merciful God. Knowing that He has a confidence in us that we cannot even begin to fathom in our small minds.

He knows what we are able to endure. He only gives us what we can handle. He will give nothing less, as it won’t produce what He desires for us to become and He will give nothing more, as He is a loving and wise Father towards His children. He allows just enough to become stronger in Him.

If you are facing a trial that seems as if it will destroy every ounce of strength you have, every drop of joy that remains in your spirit and every spec of hope you thought you possessed, take heart. God is using it for your good. He is using it to bring about abundant blessings in your life. It is being used to produce perseverance. He wants you to develop into His mature and complete son or daughter whom He loves beyond any measure that you could ever imagine. He has not left you nor has He forsaken you.

Jesus said, “In this world you will have tribulations, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). He has already gone before us and knows the path we are on. He has walked it Himself. He persevered to the bitter end. He will be your strength when you are too weak to stand. In the midst of the storms, He will be your lifeboat.

He has already won the battle. All you have to do is to trust Him. Persevere through the trials for when you have reached the end, mature and complete, He will be standing ready to place a crown upon your head.

sherri