Tag Archives: sherri woodbridge

Being A Martha

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roses-in-jars-uneditedOnce upon a time, there were two sisters. One sister was always busy mopping or dusting, fixing lunch for those that would drop by and secretly envying her sister, who instead of helping with the chores, chose to squander her time hanging around the guests and making sure they were comfortable.

Sound familiar?

That’s the story of Mary and Martha, the two sisters who serve Jesus. One serves him by making sure dinner isn’t burned and the other serves him by doting on Him. Which does he prefer? You got it. He likes to be doted on. After all, He is God. However, Martha had a hard time understanding that and thought that what she had to do was more important than what Mary was doing (paying attention to her Lord). Martha was making pie crust while Mary was giving Jesus a foot massage with her hair and some rather expensive oil. She spared no expense and he enjoyed every minute of it, even telling Martha that Mary had chosen the most important thing to do.

Poor Martha. In her own way she’s trying to do the right thing and serve a delicious meal, in a spotless house, surrounded by a group of men who could care less. They preferred having their feet rubbed. So she gives up and throws in the kitchen towel and goes and sits out on the couch and watches Mary. She’s really into this perfume and toes thing. The bottom strands of her hair are oily where she used them to rub Jesus’ feet. This – this thing Mary was doing for Jesus – this was more important than a fresh potato salad and a perfectly cooked steak?

She watched. She watched the look on Mary’s face. She watched the look on Jesus’ face. She watched the faces of the disciples who had come with Jesus.

Mary was intent. You could see, without her having to say a word, that she loved this man called Jesus with a deep love. As Martha watched, it was easy to see that Jesus almost as if Mary knew him better. How could that be? She hadn’t spent any more time with Him than Martha had. Or had she? When he’d drop by, Martha made snacks in the kitchen while Mary chose to sit at her beloved’s feet and listen to his stories.

Martha watched Jesus’ face. It was almost as if she could see the burdens he carried, melt away with each tender touch. There was something about the human touch and it’s healing effects that not even apple pie could fix.

The longer she sat there, Martha began to understand. What she did was important and needful, but not every time Jesus came to visit. Every once in a while he asked for some iced tea. She would get it. Sometimes he’d ask for a sandwich and she’d make it. He knew all he had to do was ask and she’d gladly do it. Maybe that’s what she needed to do – wait for Him to ask and until he did, she’d spend some of that spare time doing something a little more important - like rubbing her master’s feet and seeing him smile as He looked into her eyes saying, “Well done.”

Gorgeous Inside

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softened-and-cropped-rose-budI was driving down one of the side streets last Saturday morning and came to a stop sign. After the cars coming in the opposite direction passed by, I accelerated to the other side of the street. That is when I noticed a tan house for sale. It was not a house out of the ordinary – nothing special. It didn’t capture my attention. It was the sign that hung from the front of the fence that caught my eye. It hung against the wire fence that surrounded the rather plain backdrop. A plastic sign and certainly nothing to write home about, but it was the words that called for my attention.

The first time I saw the words that made up the message of this particular sign, I glanced at them briefly.  However,  they beckoned me for a closer look. Making sure of what I had read, I read them again, only for some reason, this time I read them aloud as I drove past. It was at that moment, when I heard them audibly, that God spoke directly to my heart.

“I’m gorgeous inside.”

That’s all it said. But, have you ever said those words in the quietness of your own presence? Have you ever whispered that to your heart?

I’m gorgeous inside.

I looked at that house and there was absolutely nothing extraordinary about it. It was very plain and very simple. The landscape was turf and a few flowers thrown in here and there. Definitely, nothing spectacular. And then I thought about how that house represented me. I am nothing extraordinary. Nothing above plain and simply put, very simple. I have flaws that others notice and an interior and an exterior that needs a lot of fixing up.

But, I’m gorgeous inside.

It reminded me that I concentrate on what the world sees – what I see – instead of what my Creator sees. He sees a soul that has been made clean and pure by the righteousness of His beloved Son. When He sees me, He sees His Son.

I am gorgeous inside.

I am a reflection of my Maker. The apple of His eye. Made in His image and righteous in His sight.

I am gorgeous inside.

I know because He told me so. And He announced it to the rest of the world on a plastic sign, hanging on the front of a wire fence, on a street named Mt. Carroll, in a town called Coeur d’Alene.

Hand Over The Twinkie

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I was driving down Wilbur Ave. tonight on the way to the store in pursuit of a birthday gift. Listening to the radio, Matt Redman, a renowned Christian worship leader, was playing. His song was talking about knowing God. So, I began having a conversation with God. It began somewhat like this…

“Lord, I want to know you better and love you more. I know I get so distracted and it’s in no time in my conversations that it seems I’m up and about, attending to whatever demanded my attention away from you.”

I continued to drive and talk…

“It seems it doesn’t take much any more to take my focus off of you. I say I need direction and yet I hurry off to the next important thing…”

I was thankful the traffic was light because that slowed me down and I asked myself, ‘What is the next important thing, anyhow? What is so important that I allow it to capture my attention of the One which I claim I want to know so much more deeply?’

That thought led me to thoughts of fasting and opened my eyes a little more clearly to that area of the Christian life. I know that fasting is giving up something, sacrificing something, in order to show God you’re serious about what you want. At least, that’s how it was explained to me. But, it has always seemed like more than that.

‘Lord’, I say, ‘I am giving up all food for the day so that you will give me guidance for the choices ahead of me.’ And I skip breakfast, forget to pray, and by lunch I’m cheating.

If you’re like me, I’ve taken a bite of sandwich and bam! – I remember that sandwich wasn’t a part of my day. And so I go about the rest of the day living in guilt over the bite I took and the ten other bites I gave my dog and I determine that it won’t happen again.

Fasting… I think about it in terms of showing God I’m serious about a deeper relationship with Him.

I’m serious. I’m determined. I’m sincere.

But then I wonder – am I so serious that I’d be willing to give something up to show God just how serious I am? I thought back to other times in my life… Like when your friend brings a Twinkie to school in their lunch and you have carrots. You determine you’ll make a trade. You say you’ll give them your carrots because you really want that Twinkie. Deal?

No deal.

How about the chips? Deal?

No deal. But they do have something in mind that will satisfy them. The necklace around your neck. You hesitate because your mom gave you that for your birthday and you wear it practically every day. But, you give in and take it off. All because you want that Twinkie so badly.

As you hand over the goods, they give you a fluffy, greasy little cake equipped with preservatives that will keep you alive an extra 5 years.

And so, it makes me wonder, ‘How badly do I want this relationship with God that I speak about? This deeper, intimate relationship that can and will satisfy any hunger or need? Am I willing to say, ‘Lord, what is it you want me to give you?’ And then I have a brilliant idea and I say, ‘I’ll give you my carrots.’

No deal. He doesn’t want the carrots.

Chips?

He’s not into chips.

And He just looks at me. And I look down at my Twinkie. I really wanted that Twinkie. I’ve been waiting all day for that Twinkie.

But I want Him more.

Life Lessons Using A Rubber Duck

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Well, it’s time for an update of some sort, don’tcha think? Time goes by sooooooooo fast and other days, seems so slow. Sounds like a song.

I met a new PD’er online. Now there’s three of us who are addicted to online PD conference chats at 3 in the morning because the RLS is keeping us up (and alert) or the meds to stop the RLS is keeping us up (and alert). Which do you prefer? Survey says…

Well, we are trying to sell our home. Not easy these days, you know. I was struggling with all of the issues surrounding this big thing in my life and for this entry, I wanted to share what I learned. This comes from another blog I do called Planting Gardens – www.plantinggardens.blogspot.com. Here it is:

LIFE LESSONS WITH A DUCK
by Sherri Woodbridge

I have come to my mom and dad’s, to spend some time with them. I think I am also trying to spend some time getting my emotions, feelings, thoughts and feelings under control. I cannot stop crying when I think of my kids and having to leave them, not knowing the next time when I will see them again.

Is that what is known as the empty nest syndrome? Is there some way to get those feathery fellows to fly home? Is this part of ‘letting go’? I suppose it is, but surely I do not have to like it. I am most certain Paul did not like going to jail and yet, he praised God while he was there.

There is a song that goes something like this:

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be His name

He gives and takes away

My heart will truly say…

Lord, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out,

I’ll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in,

Still I will say,

Blessed be your name.

He gave me my family and in a sense has chosen to take most of them away by moving them to other parts of the country. In this darkness that seems to be enveloping me, I can choose to cower to it or I can choose to praise Him in spite of it. Will my heart truly say, Lord, blessed be your name?

I am awake and the rest of those in the house are sleeping. I have opened the shades to watch the water rush by in the river before me. It is running fast and the river is full.

A duck is floating down the river. He floats alone, seeming quite content and to be enjoying his trip. As the river carries him downstream, he does not fight it. Then he appears to slow down and drift to the side, sitting for about ten minutes as he preens himself.

For some odd reason, I feel anxious for him as he wades to the side – alone. Where is his family? Where are his friends? Why is no one else coming? Doesn’t he know that if he keeps going and doesn’t go back he’ll most likely drown at the falls?

A thousand thoughts crowd my mind, as I panic for this duck. Then I notice – he doesn’t appear worried at all. He is still quite content, over there on the side by himself.

I can be like that duck, if I choose. I can allow God to take me downstream, through rushing waters, knowing not where the river will take me and enjoy the ride – alone. I would prefer to be traveling down that river with all of my family around me, knowing they are there if I need them – being there if they need me. But ultimately? All I really need is to trust God and lean on Him alone. All I really need is… Him. He will take me safely and securely, allowing me to drift off to the side every now and then to find renewed strength and rest.

I continue to watch that duck and as he starts back out for another jaunt, he only goes about ten feet on his next venture before trying to go back upstream – back to where he came from. As I watch him, he struggles in his fight, going in the opposite direction from where the river is trying to take him.

It is then that I realize – that is what I am doing. I am fighting God. I want to go back upstream to where I came from, to how it used to be – Sunday dinners with everyone there, game nights, making homemade ice cream, watching Boo – seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Yet, for some reason, God has taken me down this river of life. It
is a river that twists and turns and even so, while not having the slightest idea of where it is running to, unaware of what is around the bend, oblivious of where I am going to end up, I hear Him whisper, Will you trust Me?

Will I? Will I drift to the side and rest a while, allowing God to be the one to fill the hole in my heart? Will I sit there with Him, letting Him be the one who dries my tears as He pushes away the darkness that surrounds me? Will I realize that He is the river that takes me to unknown places? Will I quit fighting Him by trying to swim back upstream to what used to be?
Will I turn to Him, with an aching heart and still say, Blessed be Your name?

In surrender, I pull up my webbed feet that have become strong from fighting and trying to go my way, and I allow Him to bring me to His side and rest.

Yes. I will trust Him. After all, He is all I need.

Oh Lord, forgive me. This morning I prayed for new eyes to see you in my life and you gave me a new picture by using, of all things, a duck. Help me to be like that duck – content with just You – needing only You. Help me to float down this river of life with You, knowing You will take care of me, pushing away the darkness that closes in. When I am tired and my heart aches, pull me to the side and hide me under Your wings, just as a mother bird protects her young. Then, when it is time to float again, let me not look back and want to go back upstream, fighting You in the process but to look ahead, even if I don’t know where You are taking me. I want to trust You. No matter where You take me or how I may get there, at each turn, I want to look to You and say, blessed be Your name.

I would encourage you that if you’re struggling with anything today, there is a God who cares and is waiting to take you under His wings and hold you close. All you have to do is… let Him.

Life’s Disappointments

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I am writing this for Saturday morning, for the iTeam.

The iTeam is a group of four women, of which I am one. We all met on the internet, via support groups for PD. We were all meeting today in Georgia for the Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease Conference slated for this weekend. I say ‘were meeting’ for now, I am not. I missed my flight.

Sure, I shed a few tears. Well, maybe several. However, I didn’t sob. I didn’t swear. I didn’t give the employee who sent six people with tickets in their hands, ready to check in – all be it with 45 minutes until take off – I didn’t give him an icy stare or think bad thoughts in my head. (Those emotions will come later -ha). Yet, I was surprised at my immediate reaction.

Getting mad, passing blame will not make this better, and God works all things together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Wow. Where did that come from? I guess I’m growing up – a little bit – again. Nevertheless, I am disappointed. Disappointed that I will not get to meet these three women who have become very dear to me. Disappointed that I will not hear the talk about DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation) that my doctor is recommending that I have done within the next year. Disappointed. Just plain disappointed. And yet… I am joyful.

I went to see my neurologist last week and he asked his normal questions. Someone usually goes with me to these appointments to be my personal memory assistant. That day, my husband went. At one point, he had to leave the room and as he closed the door behind him, my doctor turned to me and said, “Good. I feel like you can never say what you want when someone is here. So tell me, how are you doing? How are your moods?”

For those of you that are not very familiar with PD, depression is one of the main symptoms we get to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

“You have a lot of reasons to be down right now.” Then, he actually listed all the reasons I had to be down as he counted them on his fingers. (He’s got a great memory!)

“Your husband’s out of work. Your daughter just graduated and is trying to find a job to pay her loans. Your son and his wife just moved away with your new granddaughter. Your other son is trying to find his way through life. You have PD.”

That’s just what he knew! As he listed them, I thought, ‘Yeah! I do have every right to be down!“

I looked at him and then answered. “I do have a lot of reasons to be down right now, but I still feel joyful.”

I still feel joyful. In spite of my disappointment today, there is joy. There is joy because I have hope. I have hope because I believe God works all things together for good. I believe that He works all things together for good because I know that He loves me and knows what is best for me.

For some reason, I didn’t make my flight. For some reason God had other plans. I may find out what they are or I may not. Regardless, I believe that whatever the reason, it is the best.

Excuse me while I answer my phone…

Well, I have to go – my son was just in an accident.

I’m back…

He’s okay. An older woman hit his car. Hmmm… I wonder if that’s one of God’s reasons.

Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.“

It’s true. I choose not to grieve over my disappointment because He is my joy and my strength and I hope that this day you find joy and strength in Him, as well.

Live Today

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raised hands

I received an email from someone concerned that they may have the beginnings of Parkinson’s Disease. I have met others who have PD, but not someone in the throws of wondering if the symptoms that they are experiencing are, in fact, PD.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I think because it takes me back to my diagnosis, to my days of wondering what was going on. I can relate so well and, I can understand, all too well.

He is scared, wondering if he does have PD, and I am able to look back and see myself where he is now – scared, uncertain, and desperate. I can now see that, even though the future is still uncertain, I have been blessed with a wonderful doctor, the support of friends and family and more than anything, been given the opportunity to encourage and come alongside of others. I was not able to see those things then, the fear taking away everything else that was in my future and leaving a sense of hopelessness.

Isn’t the future, in reality, uncertain for each of us, whether we have been diagnosed with a disease or not? None of us knows how the end will turn out or when will be the last time we will tuck our babies in bed at night.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes:

“Dance as if no one were watching,
sing as if no one were listing,
and live everyday as if it were to be your last.”

That is how I want to live each day, whether I am fighting with PD or making peace with it. I want to dance without reserve, even if I stumble. I want to sing at the top of my lungs, even if others think I’m still whispering. And, I want live each day as if it is my last opportunity for anything, even if I am given a tomorrow.

It is a hard thing to do – to live like that. There are so many distractions, so many reminders that we are not ‘whole’. With distractions that plunge their way into our daily paths and constant reminders from our bodies that struggle against their own desire to be free from disease, we can, however, choose to have the attitude of living life to its fullest and enjoying the journey, even if it’s not the one we would have chosen. It always seems better to wear a face of hope than that of despair.

I would like to encourage all of you, whether you have been dealing with a disease of any kind, whether you have just been diagnosed, or perhaps you are wondering if the symptoms that have just started are anything worth fretting over – live this day as if it were your last – dance and sing. Do it without reserve. I dare you. Oh, and don’t forget to tell someone you love them – at least once.

Hiding

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We try to hide from the world when we feel inadequate, abnormal and different. It’s a natural defense but can be destructive. Hiding ourselves away from the world can be natural in order to defend ourselves from others and their inquisitive, lack of understanding minds.

I was talking to my neighbor one day and my hand began to shake quite a bit and she asked, “What’s the matter with you? Am I making you that nervous?”

She found out I had Parkinson’s that day and she doesn’t know quite how to deal with ‘it’.

Illnesses are funny things. We want to hide because of how they can make us feel. Others want to hide from us because of how our abnormalities can make them feel. It can be uncomfortable for both parties. People don’t know how to approach someone with a handicap or an illness – they don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to respond.

May I suggest, next time you find yourself in a situation like that described above, be the first to break the ice. Be the first to take off the mask you may be hiding behind – that of fear and rejection or feeling abnormal. Others will be more comfortable when they see you are.

I’ll Have It His Way

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I went to see a movie the other night with my daughter. Now, don’t laugh…

High School Musical 3 – Senior Year.

I haven’t watched the first two movies, but have heard from various sources that they were commendable. So, as I’m a sucker for musicals and while my husband and son went to the shoot ‘em up production in the theater adjacent to us, we went in to see ours.

We were the only people in there and had a great time. The only problem with these types of movies though… The repressed desire to sing and to dance is reawakened (much to my family’s despair). I left the theater singing The Boys are Back. I added a few little moves to the words that I could remember (which were few) and a couple dance moves. Yes, the attendant behind the snack bar laughed. And then in one of my graceful moves, I threw out my back. The pain seared through the entire middle. Fortunately, it didn’t last too long.

What was unfortunate, however, was facing my PD once again. Knowing that no matter what my heart desires, this PD – this thief – will determine whether I can do it or not. It won’t be my decision to make.

But…

If I had my way, I’d join a dance class and learn to waltz.

If I had my way, I’d go skiing one more time.

If I had my way, I’d play softball and hit a homerun and run all the bases myself.

If I had my way, I’d put my own socks and shoes on.

If I had my way, I’d insist that I can do it myself.

If I had my way, I’d do many things.

Things that I used to be able to do when I had my way.

But today is different. I can’t have my way. PD has seen to that.

I’ve had to learn to receive and not always be able to give.

I’ve had to learn dancing will have to wait, at least for now.

I’ve had to learn skiing is not for me.

I’ve had to learn others are willing to do what I cannot do.

I’ve learned, unlike Frank Sinatra, that I don’t always have to have or do it my way.

And that’s okay, because I know that for some reason, this path I am on is His way and that’s the only direction I want to go. I also know that when I reach the destiny He has set before me, He will be waiting on the dance floor of heaven, just for me.

Burden or Blessing

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I am journaling our adventure of a new season in life. Currently, my husband and I are gutting a mobile home (you can read all about it at: www.plantinggardens.blogspot.com) and this comes from a previous entry that I re-read today. I thought it somehow seemed relevant for the PJ site. I hope you enjoy it. -sherri
Burden or Blessing…


Back again…
Ken asked today if I was giving serious thought to those Pre-Mobile Home Renovation Pre-Nups. I sneered at him. This was after he hit me on the head with a flying wooden sword that he had just ripped from the wall. And that was after disassembling the bathtub that I’m certain had not been cleaned for well over 38 years. And that was after I fell asleep in the car while I waited for him in the Wal-Mart parking lot, only to be left to dream about washing paneled walls and then to suddenly be woken from a nightmare, thinking that Ken, getting back into the car was the wall falling on top of me that I had been washing in me dreams (at least I think it was in my dreams…).

It’s not that bad, but I don’t think I’ve ever sweated that much, not even running cross-country in high school (ah yes, those were the days…). Just what you wanted to hear!!!

We are busy with the guest room – pulled up carpets, knocked down the closet walls.

The Structure, in its entirety got a new facelift outside when it was power washed for two hours today. That’s how long it took to give it a bath.

We ordered windows today – double paned, white vinyl, 95% UV protection with a 87% energy savings from temperatures in and out (I sound like a guy describing his hot rod). I’m excited (did I say that?!). NEW WINDOWS! You have to see the old to appreciate the new.

Yesterday, while Ken was talking with different guys about different things about doing different work on different projects, I was out pruning roses. Oh – before I forget – I smelled one! It was the most wonderful thing!!! Some of you know that part of PD is losing your sense of smell. Mine’s usually absent but yesterday it was like a ‘What was that?!?’ moment. Then I realized – it was the rose in front of me and it smelled as wonderful as it was beautiful! I haven’t smelled a rose for so long and it was a gift!

Anyhow, as I was basking in the fragrance, LaurieKay, the neighbor I told you about, came out with her granddaughter Isabella. Isabella is 3 months and gave me the biggest smile that warmed my heart. Then she spit up. A lot. (However, that wasn’t what I was going to tell you.)

The side of LaurieKay’s face was all bruised. She had three teeth pulled last Wednesday. No anesthesia, mind you. She was going to have five pulled but couldn’t stand the pain any longer. She has no insurance (many of us can relate, huh?). While she shared that they also found a tumor which they told her they are pretty sure is cancerous, my hand started shaking really bad and she kept looking down at it. Though it was offending me, instead of cutting it off, I stuck it in my pocket and explained why it was acting obnoxious. She looked at me, stunned, in silence for a few seconds and then this is what she said…

“Aren’t we blessed.”

Then I looked at her in silence for a few seconds. Then she went on to explain that she had Crones Disease and diabetes.

“We all have something, don’t we?” she added.

It was her ‘aren’t we blessed’ that stuck with me all day.

You know what? We are. When God has allowed certain circumstances and issues to become a part of our lives – a disease, an illness, a wayward child, a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one – we are blessed. We have been chosen to bear something that for some reason He has decided it is best for us to bear.

Maybe it’s to take us deeper into Him. To rely and depend on Him alone so that He truly becomes our all – in all.

Maybe it’s to make us more compassionate. To be given a sentence of a terminal illness, a chronic disease – often causes the bearer to look at others in a more compassionate way, as their understanding of pain and suffering has increased.

Maybe it’s to make us laugh. They say a great sense of humor is often born through a great deal of pain. Some of the funniest people I know are the ones that have been through the toughest times. They have found that God is their joy and laughter truly is the best medicine.

I believe what LaurieKay said is true. It is a blessing to suffer, although I’ll be the first to admit that I do not always act as if I am being blessed. But when I’m in my right mind (no comments), focused on His grace and goodness and when I’m trusting in His provision through my day, I am blessed. Blessed to have been chosen to bear what others weren’t chosen to bear, chosen to be able to understand more deeply what some never will. I am blessed to have been taken deeper into Him through pain and sorrow through the circumstances in my life and blessed with the gift of being able to laugh at the simplest things. I am not bragging and don’t mean to sound as if I am. Would I choose this blessing? I highly doubt I would have stood in that line of freebies! But looking back at what I’ve learned – the things God has allowed me to experience because of PD and the wonderful people I’ve met and have the privilege of witnessing to and encouraging – then yes. I would have stretched out my hand to God, in trust, and said Thank you for trusting me.

I hope that you find the next tough lesson, trial, or circumstance in your life to truly be a blessing, chosen just for you. And when you think of it, please pray LaurieKay’s results are negative. She’s ready to meet her Lord, but she really likes being able to watch that little granddaughter of hers every day.

Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef, or Cheerios?

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It’s Thanksgiving. Another day we are granted, to legally give thanks. So, what are you thankful for this year?

A tradition always held at the dinnertime at my in-laws, was to take turns around the table saying what you were thankful for the past year. Have you ever noticed that when you take the time to think about what there is to be thankful about, one thing can lead to another and there wouldn’t be enough time in the day to list it all.

So, we’d love to hear what you’re thankful for. I’ll start.

I am thankful for…

the love of a God who loves me so much that He’ll never give up on me.

A husband that stays by my side through thick and thin.

Three wonderful kids who encourage and support me, endlessly.

The most beautiful granddaughter ever. Really, she is.

A home.

My daily bread and sometimes dessert too.

Friends.

And, this day. To reflect God’s goodness in my life. Without Him, I would be absolutely nothing. Like a worm even, scavenging through the earth, digging to China or who knows where, without an obvious reason/purpose.

But I have a purpose. To love God and worship Him alone. To love people. The group 4Him once sang a song with those words, titling it The Center of the Mark. And that is my desire. To hit the center of the mark.