why I don’t act on my inspirations
once again –
too many times again –
are left unattended to
and I feel myself going down
I sit down to write
all I feel is the numb
a feeling that I am empty
in need of direction
and no where to turn
no sign to tell me left or right
is it because I’m supposed to keep straight on?
and, is straight on taking me in the right direction?
am I getting deeper into despair or closer to healing?
I cry out
and it seems as if there is silence in the outcry
there is nothing but silence within the silence
and trying to maintain that Jesus word for my New Year’s life
I fear I’ll forget
can I inch closer to the joy if the forgetting masters my mind?
I turn to His Word
He will protect
that includes the rampant thoughts
which seek to destroy my sanity
that which seeks to take what I know to be true
and turn it into doubt
I want to be good
knowing perfection is unattainable
righteous in the sight of God
beautiful from the inside out
He loves the righteous
Mary was righteous
Abraham was righteous
beautiful in His sight
“It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.”
the sign spoke of a home
a place where comfort and warmth exist
love and forgiveness is poured freely upon the broken
a place where forgiveness was established
practiced in a place where joy eminates even in the dark
if my heart is Christ’s home –
the very cause for the beating of my heart
the very reason for my passion to live
and reside and breathe
though I am not perfect
i am beautiful
He has made me beautiful
and brought the comfort, the warmth
the love and the forgiveness and the peace
when He moved in, unpacked,
and Joy awakened my soul
not perfect –
so very not perfect
but focused on His presence
drinking in His forgiveness
dwelling in His comfort
resting in His peace
focused on Him,
who keeps me walking straight
not turning to the left
not turning to the right
not being perfect
but keeping straight on
a little smile when the day has been long
or a soft but definite ‘hello’ when you’re feeling alone
a helpful hand when you’re tired
a glass of water when you’re thirsty
a drop of rain on a very hot day
or a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day
a plate of cookies when you think you’ve been forgotten
a bouquet of flowers left on your doorstep
a remembrance of your favorite verse at just the right time
and the sound of a child’s innocent giggle
the sound of a river rushing to the ocean
or a creek as it finds its way through the hills
the feeling inside when you finally finish
and the excitement of finally beginning
the shapes and colors of each different rose
and the thorns that protect each one
the way a caterpillar waddles up a stem
curls up tight and comes out a beautiful butterfly
a father playing with his children
and enjoying it more than his children
Isn’t it funny how life seems so hard and yet, when you dwell on the good things, life is still hard but it isn’t so overwhelming, after all?
“Come, follow me,” Jesus says, “and I will make you fishers of men.”
At once Simon (Peter) and his brother Andrew leave their nets and follow Him. (Mark 1:17).
They don’t even think about whether it is the right thing to do. They know. His presence demands obedience. Respect. A want and a need to follow.
They don’t hesitate but immediately give each other a quick glance as if to say, “You in?” and seeing the answer on one anothers face, throw down their nets and join Him.
Jesus goes a little farther down the lake. He sees James and his brother John and immediately calls them and they leave their father and his hired men in the boat where they are and follow Jesus.
Without taking their father. Leaving the family business. They, just like Peter and Andrew , throw down their past and follow their future.
They take nothing with them. They never stop to ask questions like, “What will we eat?”, or “What will we wear?”, or “Where will we sleep?”
They just obey. Without reservation and full of trust. Because they just know.
They didn’t need evidence.
They didn’t need signs and wonders.
They just knew.
Are we so bold? So trusting? Are we willing to say “Yes, Lord” when we look up into a starry sky or hear the cry of a newborn baby or smell the fragrance of a rose or hold new life in our hands? Are we quick to say yes to Truth even though we may not fully understand it or know where it’s taking us?
That’s what Jesus asks of us. He’s not asking us to leave our brains at the door. That’s not trust.
Trust is what He’s asking of us. Faith. To trust and just believe what He says – that He is the way, that He is the truth, and that He is the life. Or more personally speaking,
He is our way
He is our truth
He is our life.
Just like the disciples, we, too, have a choice we must make…
Will we lay down our past and trust Him for our future?