The Incredible Patience of God

I have learned lessons we experience in life are not purely for our own benefit, but for sharing with others who struggle and need encouragement, support, and wisdom by others who have ‘been there-done that’.

It could be I am not necessarily slow, but rather I am ready to hear what I need to hear when I am ready to hear it.  I am not defiant, not rebellious, but some of us can only learn when we are ready to learn it.  Otherwise, it goes into mind storage in the brain, way in the back with all other stuff labeled, “Keep and go through later.”

How am I intimately familiar with the patience of God ?

I am still here.
I am still breathing.
I am still here.

Days come and go.  I listen.  I hear a voice and respond.  I find I listen to the wrong voice.  Again.  And again.  The incredible patience of God once again, prevails.

All my mistakes.  Poor choices.  Knowing right and doing wrong.

The patience of God shines upon me as tears stream down my face while a repentant heart cries out for mercy and grace, yet again.

Calmly enduring pain and trying situations.  Even-tempered perseverance.  These are the words chosen to insert onto the pages of dictionaries to define a holy word.  A holy act.

Patience.  The incredible – the indescribable patience of God.

Via Old French from Latin: patientia – meaning ‘endurance’ and pati, meaning ‘to suffer’.

A chill encircles me as I give this some thought.

He endures my poor choices so I may learn to make better ones.  He endures with me while making well-known His even-tempered perseverance.  For my benefit.  For my   learning of lessons taught.  He suffers beside me through the error of my selfish ways, through my mistakes so I am able to crawl out of the muck once again.  And again.

Oh how patient, how long-suffering is the Lord my God.  Over me.  Again.  And again.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is [His] faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23

From my heart -

Sherri

David – A Man Broken

I was thinking about King David the other day.  You know – the guy who wrote all those beautiful psalms.  The youngest chosen out of nine brothers to be the next king of Israel.[1] The fearless shepherd who fought against a giant with just a sling and five smooth stones and then stood over him – in victory.[2] The king who sinned against his God.

 

Yeah – that David.  The one who turned his eyes from God for one moment, and committed adultery the next.[3] That David.  The one who was said to be a man after God’s heart.  The one whose God said, “I took you from the pasture and from following the flock to be ruler over my people Israel.  I have been with you wherever you have gone…  Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men on earth.  …I will give you rest from your enemies.”  Three chapters later, David displeases his God and becomes a man broken.

 

God is sovereign.  He is superior over all.  He knows all, He sees all, He is all.  If that is the case, then why is David raised up from a boy who shepherds flocks of wooly sheep, to become a young man who runs after the heart of His God, and then – only allowed to become a man who is broken and prostrated and weeping before His God?  If the choices that David makes – adultery, murder, lies – displease His God, what happens to the promises that God has made to this broken man?

 

As I sat and thought about David, I wondered how often I displease God.  How often have I turned my eyes away, if only for just a moment, only to find myself in the wrong place, at the wrong time?  And yet, just as God did for David, so He does for me and you – he takes away our sins.

 

I mulled over all of that and then a thought struck me.  God knew when He promised David prosperity, kingdoms on earth, and rest from his enemies that one day in the near future He would allow David to become broken.  He knew that David would one moment be running hard after the heart of God, only to take his eyes off that race and get a good look at Bathsheba, who just happened to be doing her morning bath routine – outside in the warm sunshine.  Maybe she did it to be noticed.  Maybe she knew the kings’ regimen and that he walked his rooftop each morning for his quiet time with his God.  Maybe she was testing him to see if he was half the man her husband Uriah, one of David’s most faithful and trusted servants in battle, boasted of him to be.  Maybe her thoughts were innocent and pure and she thought she was safe from the king’s roaming eyes, as his army was out in battle and he had always gone with them each time beforehand.

 

Whatever the case, God had made a promise to David that he would live victoriously, in prosperity, and in rest from his enemies throughout his life.[4] God promised this to David, knowing that three chapters later in time, the choices David made would displease Him.  God knew that there would be an afternoon coming soon, when David would choose to veer from the path that ran towards the heart of God and choose adultery for that period of time.  Because of his choice to deviate from what he knew was best and veer off course, he suffered the consequences.  His mistress for a day, Bathsheba, became pregnant. Trying to hide his sin, David schemes and tries to cover it up, ultimately ending up having his servant Uriah killed.  David also loses his newborn son, heir to his throne.

 

I guess this strikes me because so often we beat ourselves up over so many things, that we never fully experience the grace and forgiveness of the same God who loved and forgave a king who took a wrong turn.[5] A king who was after the heart of God and a God who was after the heart of mankind.  And – God kept His promises, even after all the choices David made.  David did prosper.  He did live in rest from his enemies with numerous victories.  Just as God had promised.  In spite of what David did, God took away his sin and kept His promises.

 

He will do no less for us.  He promises to supply our every need[6], according to His riches in heaven.  That sounds pretty prosperous and loving to me.  He promises that (like David experienced[7]), if we confess our sins to Him, He will forgive our sins[8] and make us clean again.

 

How amazing.  I sat there and thought about King David some more.  The King who had been badly broken and from that brokenness came some of the most poetic and beautiful psalms this world will ever know.  Psalms filled with an understanding of pain and the joy that comes after.  Psalms of worship and praise to a God who keeps His promises, no matter what we do.

 

Only a God of forgiveness and grace, such mercy and love would do that – would take one who is broken – someone like me – and make me whole again.


[1] 1 Samuel 16:1-13 ;[2] 1 Samuel 17 ;[3] 2 Samuel 11:1-27;[4] 2 Samuel 7:1-16;[5] 2 Samuel 12:13-14;[6] Philippians 4:19;[7] 2 Samuel 12:13a;[8] 1 John 1:9

 

Forever His,

Sherri

Easter Series, Part 1: When Jesus Says Your Name

dscn9827It’s Saturday – that day that comes between Good Friday and Easter and I can’t help but wonder whether I would have lost hope on that day – that one Saturday, so long ago.

I can be hopeful, however, because I know what happened that next day – the day that followed the dark clouds of doubt just two days prior. The day the tomb was empty. Sunday morning – Easter morning. The morning that Jesus could not be found.

What would it have been like to have been one of the three women walking to the tomb, in order to prepare Jesus’ body for burial? These three women – Mary and Martha and Mary – had been His close friends. The closest kind. After all, it isn’t just anyone, on just any old day, that would lavish their Master’s feet with the finest of oils. Oils worth their weight in gold, as some might say.  But – one of these three did. Mary did. And now she most likely took each step, with a million questions in her mind beginning with ‘why’, as she walked her path of sorrow.

Martha walked alongside. Did she have regrets? Did she wish she had put down the dishtowel and joined Mary at Jesus’ feet more often, instead of sighing and complaining that no one ever helped her? Did she yearn and ache to have Him back and have a do-over, showing her Lord that He really was more important than a clean sink?

And what about the other Mary? The first Mary – his mother? What was she going through? She knew what He was about. She knew it from the very beginning but was this the way it was supposed to be? If he was who she believed He was then why this? How was being dead going to save the world? She remembered hearing about the statement He had made about the ‘third day’. She knew God was a God of miracles – she knew that first hand and personally. But – death? How was that going to fix things? Loaned to her through arms of God, she watched a little baby boy become a man – a man who was going to save the world.  But how could that be? He didn’t even save himself when the time warranted it and everyone was waiting for a miracle. Instead, he took the insults, the beatings, the lies and didn’t stop a thing.

Approaching the tomb in silence, the women abruptly stopped short. The storm clouds from the days prior were now completely gone. The sun beat down upon them as they removed the veils from their heads, not that it enabled them to see clearer. The stone had still been moved – but how? It would take many men to push it away and there wasn’t one man around.  Not even the guards who were sworn to be standing beside the stone that was now moved from where it had been placed to seal the tomb.
Without a sound, without a word, they looked at each other in bewilderment, all three with thoughts racing through their minds of what the open tomb could mean. Was He still in there? Had someone taken Him? Was it a cruel joke? A few seconds seemed like hours as they stood, speculating in silence what the darkness before them held as they prepared to enter that tomb.

Within seconds of entering, the three women reappear from within the tomb and  bolt to where they know Peter is. Frantic, broken, distraught and out of breath, Mary rattles off what has happened.

“They have taken the Lord out of the tomb and we don’t know where they have put them.” She is beside herself with confusion.

Peter, watching her expressions, realizes that she isn’t joking around and he and John, without response follow Mary’s lead and all three are out the door and on their way to the tomb. John, always the renowned devoted one, beats Peter and reaches the tomb first. He and Peter look in the tomb, much the same way the three women had done not long before.

It was as Mary had told them. He was gone. All that was left was the cloth they had wrapped him in. They are beside themselves and rush back home. Fear? Bewilderment? Confusion? Hope?

Mary stays and is standing outside the tomb, crying. She came to the tomb for one reason and now her one reason is gone. And the ones she ran to for enlightenment have run back home. As she stands there weeping, she hears a noise. It causes her to stop and look. She looks around, but no one is there. She hears it again and realizes that it’s coming from inside. She peeks back into the tomb.

Did she gasp? Did she cover her mouth in surprise, covering a potential scream of fear? What was her reaction as she looked in and found two men sitting on the very place where Jesus should have been? The very place where the cloths he was wrapped in sat neatly folded next to these unknown men, evidence that Jesus had made His bed before he left. Martha would have rejoiced.

Her attention is given in full to the strangers when they ask her to verbalize the cause of her tears. They knew why, but they knew there was a God-sized hole in her heart that was aching right now to be filled by One she feared she had lost. However, they still  ask.  There is something freeing in being able to talk about your pain.

“They’ve taken my Lord away and I don’t know where they’ve put Him.”

My Lord. Her prince, her savior, her  friend. The only One who knew her to the depths of her being and in spite of it, loved her unconditionally and poured measures of grace over the stain of her sins.

A voice from behind startles her and she turns to find another man.

“Woman, why are you crying? Who are you looking for?”

It was just the gardener. Or so she thought. She is desperate. Where is her Lord?

“Sir, if you’ve taken my friend, tell me where he is and I’ll go get him.”

Poor Mary! Can’t you not feel her pain? The helplessness? The confusion? Her last opportunity to shower her Lord with love by preparing his body for burial and he’s missing.  And these men – they keep asking why she’s crying. Did they not know him? Had they not heard what kind of man he was? Did they not understand the difference he had made in so many lives?
And then Jesus, to save her from distraught, says her name.

“Mary.”

Can you imagine Jesus saying your name?

Weary from grief and overwhelmed with what to do in the situation that confronted her seconds earlier, she stops. The two angels that appeared as mere men hadn’t been able to help her. Who she thought was the gardener couldn’t help… until he said her name. All it took was to hear him say her name, as He had so many times before and she knew.

It was at that moment when Mary came undone and turned to Him and cried, “Teacher!”

I can just imagine that, at that very moment she was overflowing with excitement, relief, joy – all in one. She most likely did what anyone would do while standing face to face with the son of God – she fell at his feet.

He, seeing her joy return, probably gave a chuckle at her excitement and took a step back and  said, “Woah, Mary – hang on. Don’t hold on to me – I haven’t gone to my Father yet…”

Jesus knew this woman. He had given her grace when the rest of the world wanted to condemn her. He had given her his friendship when the rest of the world considered her trash. He had offered forgiveness when the rest of the world said she was unforgiveable. He gave her a new life and He loved her and had filled the God-sized hole in her heart.

“Mary.”

He knew what she needed at that moment, the same way He did when she stood next to him as he drew a line in the sand, attempting to separate the sinners from the self-proclaimed saints.

“Mary.”

As she listened to him call her by name, her hope was restored and her joy made full once again. And, once again, she ran off to tell the disciples the good news and instead of weeping, she was praising God.

Close your eyes and listen. Jesus is calling you by name. Do you hear it? Listen carefully. He is saying your name and offering to you all he offered to Mary – grace, joy, mercy, hope, unconditional love, forgiveness and more. Are you listening?

How Big God Is

Today at church, the message was about just ‘who’ this Jesus of the Bible is.  Is he just someone who died on the cross?  Is he just a friend?  Is he your ‘homeboy’?

Yes and no.  Like the pastor, referring to Jesus as your ‘homeboy’ (or I’d go so far as to say even your ‘buddy’ of ‘pal’) gets to me.  I remember when I was in high school, the pastor’s son was studying to be a pastor and he had come home for the holidays and preached while he was there.  He spoke about how he and his ‘buddies’ pray to Jesus, their ‘buddy’.  In my mind, I remember thinking there was something wrong with that.  It just didn’t set right.  After today’s message, I think I know why.

Jesus isn’t our ‘buddy’ or our ‘pal’ or our ‘homeboy’.  He is so much more.  Yes, a friend, a companion, but then again – so much more.  Pastor Tanner read from Hebrews, chapter one… “In these last days, God is speaking to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe.  The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  After he provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty of heaven.  So he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs.” [Hebrews 1: 1-4]

The Son is the radiance of God’s glory, the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  Doesn’t that just give you chills?  I wonder if Peter or James, Paul or Mary ever once knew who it really was who stood before them day after day?  Did they ever truly realize it was God himself who talked with them in the gardens, walked with them along the shores of Galilee, ate with them at the supper table?  Did Martha ever put her dish towel down long enough to look into the eyes of Christ and get it?

This man, this being who is the image of God – who made the world – this visible image of an invisible God – was/is the exact representation of God.  They stood before the Creator, the Sustainer, the Alpha and Omega, the Comforter, Provider, Savior, Healer of all.  To see Jesus was to see the Father.  He radiated the Father.  He didn’t reflect the Father – He radiated him because – He was Him!  He was three ‘persons’ – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – but just one essence. This is one of those times I am overcome with awe.  I am speechless.

God had absolutely nothing to gain by coming to earth to save us.  He could have gone about each day as before.  Just Him and the angels, singing praises, not having to listen to His people whine and pout all the time because things aren’t going the way they want it to.  To see the devastation of those He created – by those He created.

In the Old Testament God required a sacrifice upon the altar of the shedding of blood to cover the sins of His people.  This purification process cleansed them from the outside in.  By the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, the purification process for us changed.  No longer would there be a need for sacrifices.  No longer would cleansing come from the outside in.  Now, because of the shedding of Christ’s blood for us – God’s own Son – the new purification process came from the inside out.

This man, this God, this One who is holy, pure, unstained, and sovereign – He holds the entire universe in His hands and can sustain it all with a mere word.  A powerful word.  I remember contemplating on a verse from the book of Psalms: “He lifts His voice, the earth melts.” [Psalm 46:6].  Another thought that brings you to your knees.

I don’t know about you, but when I give myself time to think about such things, I cannot comprehend it.  It is too much.  There is such a picture of awe and reverence.  I’ve heard a saying, “The closer you get to God, the more sinful you realize you are.”  Pastor Tanner put a twist on that…

The more we grow in our walk with the Lord, the more we realize how great he really is.  And, the ‘bigger’ we get in our walk, the bigger He’ll be.

We haven’t even scratched the surface of God’s glory.

Blessed Be His Name

Claire and her mom

Claire and her mom

I have been following a blog, http://ourclaire.wordpress.com/, since its inception this past June.  I am not sure how I stumbled upon it, but it has become very personal to me.  It is about the life of an ordinary family set afloat the path of excruciating circumstances—the near drowning of their three-year-old daughter. Each day I receive an update on Claire’s progress toward a new ‘normal’, one of which no one but God himself knows the definition.  Each day I am driven to my knees and not only pray for this family but express my gratitude and thankfulness that I have not experienced such pain as a mother.

 

I don’t share this to bring sadness to you, my reader, but to cause you to stop and appreciate just how precious is life itself at this very moment. In the next moment your phone may ring, bringing news that will change your life as you now know it. Tomorrow could bring sorrow. In it all and through it all, God is and will always be sovereign, faithful, and just. We may cry out why, but his peace can and will calm the shaken, the fallen, and the hurting.  

 

I wanted to share a tidbit from today’s post about Claire, written by her daddy, with an excerpt from the beginning post to give you insight what they were facing from the start:

June 2nd entry-

…after a near drowning event on Sunday, May 30th…here’s what we do know about that first hour:

  • Claire didn’t have a pulse for 30 minutes;
  • When the practitioners did get her heart going again, she could not breathe on her own; and
  • Claire’s little body was fighting to stay alive.

 

August 30th entry-

 

…as I write this, the clock stares at me, shocking me with its pronouncement of another day gone by. On the one hand, I want time to slow down so I can catch my breath, and on the other I want it to speed up, hastening Claire’s recovery.

 

I reflect on the first few days when it happened, hoping that as we brought Claire out of hypothermia, we’d take great strides to recovery. We were cautioned that the recovery would take a long time, but we still didn’t grasp the gravity of the situation: little did we know that weeks, months and years of shuffling forward were ahead of us. The slow pace is what is difficult, each day another day without seeing Claire smile, hearing her voice or watching her play. We’ve survived for three months without those things, but we can’t imagine living without them for another day. But we do it anyway, because we hold on to the hope that day will come soon.

 

On some days we see something new. Tiffany had the idea of buying some Baby Orajel as part of oral therapy. Her idea was that when you feel numbness in your mouth, your tongue tends to explore that side of your mouth. Claire’s tongue exercises have been limited. So we tried the Orajel. It worked right away. We watched Claire move her tongue to the right side of her mouth, feeling where we had placed the drop. We all cheered watching her little tongue move. Her curiosity turned to annoyance when the feeling didn’t go away. She didn’t like it. It was a victory nonetheless.

 

 

What spoke to me today was Claire’s ‘therapy’ with the Orajel. While the family watched and waited, eventually they saw Claire move her tongue to one side her mouth and was victory!  How often do we move our tongues around inside our mouth throughout our days only to take it for granted? Brush our teeth, comb our hair, walk to the kitchen, stand up from sitting in a chair? All movements we do each day and never even consider the fact that tomorrow those gifts and evidences of life could be taken away.

 

Could we, like others we may know, stand and sing, “Blessed be the name of the Lord – He gives and takes away, but my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed by your name?

 

I remember going to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert after his little girl Maria had been tragically killed and through tears, he sang that very song, with new insight.

 

God gives and He takes away. Sometimes He takes away completely and sometimes only partially—like Claire, like a disease or illness, or a child who has turned his/her back on the Lord, or unemployment. The list is endless, but God’s comfort and strength never fails and victory is coming. It may not feel like it today, it may not feel like it tomorrow, but it is coming.  Until that day, I want to be thankful for what this moment brings and if the next, should God choose to take something away, it is because of His mercy and grace, faithfulness and sovereignty that I can choose to say, blessed be His name.

Running The Race Like A Cowboy

cowboysSunday evening wasn’t the same without having The Amazing Race to watch.  I haven’t ever enjoyed watching that show as I did with this last season’s brood.  And it’s all because of the cowboys.  Oh my gravy – they made the entire show a joy to watch.  Their attitude, their reactions and responses (or the lack thereof) – they made the show.  Their integrity was so attractive and never once wavered.  It was a breath of fresh air to see two people with such a consistent positive attitude.

In the New Testament Jesus says, ‘the first shall be last and the last shall be first.’  While watching the last episode of the race, there is a point where the cowboys are waiting for their last flight. One team of the three finalists is ahead of them, while the third comes in later.  The cowboys’ luggage is right behind the teams’ luggage who is in first place, though the cowboys are standing a few feet from it.  The third place team comes into the terminal and one of its team members steps in front of the cowboys’ bags, stating something to the effect that the cowboys weren’t really in line, so they (the third place team) had every right to be there.  Not.

In the whole scheme of things, it most likely didn’t matter when you look at the big picture.  But, it did matter.  It was rude, it was
wrong, and if they had been in high school in the lunch line and the logistics were similar within the character types, that choice most likely would have been grounds for a fight.  The cowboys, however, remained cool and were probably muttering, ‘Oh my gravy.’

cowboys 2I sometimes wonder when watching that show, how I would react to certain situations.  Would my flesh and competitive spirit (and it can be strong) get in the way and any testimony I have to God’s mercy and grace be lost in one second because I have to win?   On ordinary days in life, do I outdo others so that I come across as ‘the best’?  Do I do things or say things a certain way for attention?  All of these being a part of the ‘me first’ mentality?  I know I have.  But I don’t want to.  I’m like Paul, the apostle, who said, “For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

I want to be that person (or America’s favorite cowboys) who keeps their cool and knows that when my race is finished, I ran with integrity and grace, whether I came in first or last.  I want to be that person that says, “Go on ahead.  I don’t mind if I don’t win the million dollars.  What matters most is you.” (Yeah, right.)  Seriously, I hope that my integrity stays intact under pressure.  That my choices would align with my desire to be Christ-like.  I would hope that my focus would not be what I can gain here on earth, but the prize that awaits at heaven’s throne.

Oh my gravy – won’t that be the ultimate end to an amazing race?

j0308984

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To read up on how Jet and Cord are using their second place prizes, click here!

Loved

basket-roses-straight-sharp

egg shells

scattered across the floor

tread carefully

or you’ll cut your feet

bruise your heart

and breaking your spirit

tread carefully

or the current of the river

will suck you under

without compassion

cruel and unforgiving

hold on tightly

to the only Hand

that is stretching out

catching your tears with one

pulling you out with the other

hide safely buried in His arms

feel the beat of His heart

knowing if you were the only one

still it would beat for you

rest peacefully

warmed and covered by His grace

healed by His touch

covered in His mercy

held in His love

Never Give Up

resizeDo you ever feel like throwing in the towel? Okay, forget the towel. Sometimes you just feel like throwing something really big and watching it crash, thinking somehow that will solve the stress of the moment.

The other day I was trying to change my granddaughter’s diaper and she wasn’t interested in a clean diaper. What she was interested in was kicking her legs all over the place. I finally leaned over her and in a lighthearted way, backed by some real frustration, I screamed.

She began laughing as if it were the funniest thing she had witnessed. Her laughter was contagious. My screaming was contagious. I began to laugh and she began to scream. The frustration passed and we laughed harder at that moment than the rest of the day.

God teaches amazing lessons through little children. For example, it’s so much better to laugh than to cry, but it doesn’t always seem that way, does it? There are moments when there’s nothing left to do but cry. That’s when we run and hide in the shadow of God’s wings. Like a child. A child in need of a daddy who will comfort, protect, heal, and, if needed, forgive.

Are you feeling beat up? Alone? Hurt? Empty? Run to Jesus. Let Him hide you in His mercy and grace. He’s waiting and willing. Just run.

If you need someone to pray for you, to intercede on your behalf through this tough spot you find yourself in, I’d love to come alongside of you and be a friend. Feel free to leave your request through an anonymous comment (or your name if you wish, but it will be seen by others). You are not alone.