Season of Thanks

I give thanks, look up into the sky and can’t help but wonder – why would a God so mighty, so pure, so holy – love me?

Me – full of small doubts and large fears, endless mistakes. Yet – You love me still.

I give thanks for love when I’m full of doubts and I’m full of fears and I’ve made endless mistakes and it’s difficult seeing past my limited focus. I give thanks when the storms rage. Growing in grace comes in every season. Winter must come before spring. My life needs the rain as well as the sunshine.

Through heartache and tears, the soil becomes fertile for growth. During the growth process, I find refuge in His care.

Safety in His arms.

Peace resting in Him.

There, under His care and protection, I wait for dark, hovering clouds that boldly threaten storms, flooding, devastation – there I wait with Him.

It is in the sitting at His feet, in the waiting and trusting that my tears are wiped by the palm of His hands. It is in the trust that causes me to be still. It is in the still, quiet wait that teaches me calm.

He says Go, it is safe and I will be with you. And so I go.

Hesitantly, I take a step and as I do, spring awaits. Earth the once stood bare, without life, now stands in royal grandeur, it barrenness turned to beauty.

Where dark once reigned, warmth now resides. Tiny hopes for life, once called buds, are now beautiful blooms with a sweet fragrance that drifts through the garden. Blossoms of bright hues are scattered by Your hand.

Every bird beckons me with its song of magnificence. Each buzzing bee joins in at His orchestrated command.

Tree branches lift their foliage in praise. New life sprouts for all to see. New life fills every nest and together, creation shouts praise to its Creator.

Once I have walked the road of a new spring, it is only a matter of time before the cycle is evident to all and a new season is upon me. Vibrant, healthy life, with the rains of the spring and the warmth of summer, will begin to die again. The cycle now resumes.

Seasons must change, winds must blow, storms must rage. It begins when leaves fall, giving way to the coming winter. Yet it is in their silent death, a beauty I see. Their vibrant colors sing out praise to their Creator. It is in the crunching and smashing, the scrunching and mashing of fallen leaves that once brought shelter from the scorching sun that now bring delight to Your children.


As they are pushed away from their branches above, they clear space for the new life that will follow in step. History will repeat itself once again with the cycle of life. Change comes, though no human eye can see. It is before the silent, unseen miracle I worship You.

You have taken this life, like branches once bare, and breathed the breath of new life into the old and barren. Embraced with grace, chains fell away like dead, dry leaves on a blustery day. Storms of darkness blew with the pelting rains of winter and You held me close. I feared no evil. No storm took me captive. I did not drown.

Again You took me to Spring and have gave to me fragrance as perfume. The stinging, pelting rains of winter did not keep me from You, but drew me close, caused me to wait, to trust, to grow, to bloom.

I have learned from You in hard times. I have found shelter in Your care. I can walk in the darkness, for I have found your comfort and safety in that place.

My God, I give thanks to You now, when thanksgiving comes with ease. When the skies are clear and the sun bathes me in its warmth, I praise You. I give You thanks then, in the season where life gives way to change, and light turns to darkness, having learned that in the cold, in the pain of life, You have held me close. Close is where I want to stay.

This season of celebrated Thanksgiving, I thank You as others do – for joy, being a part of the living, obvious blessings of this holiday. Food, fellowship, memories and more.

Most – I thank You for taking me – soiled, shattered, broken and bruised – me, who only someone You could make new. Once lifeless, in pain, lost, and alone – I praise You, my almighty, all-powerful, omnipotent God, and give you heartfelt thanks. For all you’ve done, for the gift of hope, for restoration, for making me whole again. It is my whole heart that You alone have won.

The flowers of spring that bloom with beauty. The autumn winds, the falling of leaves. The cold chill and storms of winter. The wonder and new life of spring. There is a purpose for everything, for everything a divine and greater reason.

I give thanks now. I will give thanks again. For You have remained so faithful to me. Over and over. Again and again.

From my heart,

Easter Series, Part 1: When Jesus Says Your Name

dscn9827It’s Saturday – that day that comes between Good Friday and Easter and I can’t help but wonder whether I would have lost hope on that day – that one Saturday, so long ago.

I can be hopeful, however, because I know what happened that next day – the day that followed the dark clouds of doubt just two days prior. The day the tomb was empty. Sunday morning – Easter morning. The morning that Jesus could not be found.

What would it have been like to have been one of the three women walking to the tomb, in order to prepare Jesus’ body for burial? These three women – Mary and Martha and Mary – had been His close friends. The closest kind. After all, it isn’t just anyone, on just any old day, that would lavish their Master’s feet with the finest of oils. Oils worth their weight in gold, as some might say.  But – one of these three did. Mary did. And now she most likely took each step, with a million questions in her mind beginning with ‘why’, as she walked her path of sorrow.

Martha walked alongside. Did she have regrets? Did she wish she had put down the dishtowel and joined Mary at Jesus’ feet more often, instead of sighing and complaining that no one ever helped her? Did she yearn and ache to have Him back and have a do-over, showing her Lord that He really was more important than a clean sink?

And what about the other Mary? The first Mary – his mother? What was she going through? She knew what He was about. She knew it from the very beginning but was this the way it was supposed to be? If he was who she believed He was then why this? How was being dead going to save the world? She remembered hearing about the statement He had made about the ‘third day’. She knew God was a God of miracles – she knew that first hand and personally. But – death? How was that going to fix things? Loaned to her through arms of God, she watched a little baby boy become a man – a man who was going to save the world.  But how could that be? He didn’t even save himself when the time warranted it and everyone was waiting for a miracle. Instead, he took the insults, the beatings, the lies and didn’t stop a thing.

Approaching the tomb in silence, the women abruptly stopped short. The storm clouds from the days prior were now completely gone. The sun beat down upon them as they removed the veils from their heads, not that it enabled them to see clearer. The stone had still been moved – but how? It would take many men to push it away and there wasn’t one man around.  Not even the guards who were sworn to be standing beside the stone that was now moved from where it had been placed to seal the tomb.
Without a sound, without a word, they looked at each other in bewilderment, all three with thoughts racing through their minds of what the open tomb could mean. Was He still in there? Had someone taken Him? Was it a cruel joke? A few seconds seemed like hours as they stood, speculating in silence what the darkness before them held as they prepared to enter that tomb.

Within seconds of entering, the three women reappear from within the tomb and  bolt to where they know Peter is. Frantic, broken, distraught and out of breath, Mary rattles off what has happened.

“They have taken the Lord out of the tomb and we don’t know where they have put them.” She is beside herself with confusion.

Peter, watching her expressions, realizes that she isn’t joking around and he and John, without response follow Mary’s lead and all three are out the door and on their way to the tomb. John, always the renowned devoted one, beats Peter and reaches the tomb first. He and Peter look in the tomb, much the same way the three women had done not long before.

It was as Mary had told them. He was gone. All that was left was the cloth they had wrapped him in. They are beside themselves and rush back home. Fear? Bewilderment? Confusion? Hope?

Mary stays and is standing outside the tomb, crying. She came to the tomb for one reason and now her one reason is gone. And the ones she ran to for enlightenment have run back home. As she stands there weeping, she hears a noise. It causes her to stop and look. She looks around, but no one is there. She hears it again and realizes that it’s coming from inside. She peeks back into the tomb.

Did she gasp? Did she cover her mouth in surprise, covering a potential scream of fear? What was her reaction as she looked in and found two men sitting on the very place where Jesus should have been? The very place where the cloths he was wrapped in sat neatly folded next to these unknown men, evidence that Jesus had made His bed before he left. Martha would have rejoiced.

Her attention is given in full to the strangers when they ask her to verbalize the cause of her tears. They knew why, but they knew there was a God-sized hole in her heart that was aching right now to be filled by One she feared she had lost. However, they still  ask.  There is something freeing in being able to talk about your pain.

“They’ve taken my Lord away and I don’t know where they’ve put Him.”

My Lord. Her prince, her savior, her  friend. The only One who knew her to the depths of her being and in spite of it, loved her unconditionally and poured measures of grace over the stain of her sins.

A voice from behind startles her and she turns to find another man.

“Woman, why are you crying? Who are you looking for?”

It was just the gardener. Or so she thought. She is desperate. Where is her Lord?

“Sir, if you’ve taken my friend, tell me where he is and I’ll go get him.”

Poor Mary! Can’t you not feel her pain? The helplessness? The confusion? Her last opportunity to shower her Lord with love by preparing his body for burial and he’s missing.  And these men – they keep asking why she’s crying. Did they not know him? Had they not heard what kind of man he was? Did they not understand the difference he had made in so many lives?
And then Jesus, to save her from distraught, says her name.

“Mary.”

Can you imagine Jesus saying your name?

Weary from grief and overwhelmed with what to do in the situation that confronted her seconds earlier, she stops. The two angels that appeared as mere men hadn’t been able to help her. Who she thought was the gardener couldn’t help… until he said her name. All it took was to hear him say her name, as He had so many times before and she knew.

It was at that moment when Mary came undone and turned to Him and cried, “Teacher!”

I can just imagine that, at that very moment she was overflowing with excitement, relief, joy – all in one. She most likely did what anyone would do while standing face to face with the son of God – she fell at his feet.

He, seeing her joy return, probably gave a chuckle at her excitement and took a step back and  said, “Woah, Mary – hang on. Don’t hold on to me – I haven’t gone to my Father yet…”

Jesus knew this woman. He had given her grace when the rest of the world wanted to condemn her. He had given her his friendship when the rest of the world considered her trash. He had offered forgiveness when the rest of the world said she was unforgiveable. He gave her a new life and He loved her and had filled the God-sized hole in her heart.

“Mary.”

He knew what she needed at that moment, the same way He did when she stood next to him as he drew a line in the sand, attempting to separate the sinners from the self-proclaimed saints.

“Mary.”

As she listened to him call her by name, her hope was restored and her joy made full once again. And, once again, she ran off to tell the disciples the good news and instead of weeping, she was praising God.

Close your eyes and listen. Jesus is calling you by name. Do you hear it? Listen carefully. He is saying your name and offering to you all he offered to Mary – grace, joy, mercy, hope, unconditional love, forgiveness and more. Are you listening?

How Big God Is

Today at church, the message was about just ‘who’ this Jesus of the Bible is.  Is he just someone who died on the cross?  Is he just a friend?  Is he your ‘homeboy’?

Yes and no.  Like the pastor, referring to Jesus as your ‘homeboy’ (or I’d go so far as to say even your ‘buddy’ of ‘pal’) gets to me.  I remember when I was in high school, the pastor’s son was studying to be a pastor and he had come home for the holidays and preached while he was there.  He spoke about how he and his ‘buddies’ pray to Jesus, their ‘buddy’.  In my mind, I remember thinking there was something wrong with that.  It just didn’t set right.  After today’s message, I think I know why.

Jesus isn’t our ‘buddy’ or our ‘pal’ or our ‘homeboy’.  He is so much more.  Yes, a friend, a companion, but then again – so much more.  Pastor Tanner read from Hebrews, chapter one… “In these last days, God is speaking to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe.  The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  After he provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty of heaven.  So he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs.” [Hebrews 1: 1-4]

The Son is the radiance of God’s glory, the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  Doesn’t that just give you chills?  I wonder if Peter or James, Paul or Mary ever once knew who it really was who stood before them day after day?  Did they ever truly realize it was God himself who talked with them in the gardens, walked with them along the shores of Galilee, ate with them at the supper table?  Did Martha ever put her dish towel down long enough to look into the eyes of Christ and get it?

This man, this being who is the image of God – who made the world – this visible image of an invisible God – was/is the exact representation of God.  They stood before the Creator, the Sustainer, the Alpha and Omega, the Comforter, Provider, Savior, Healer of all.  To see Jesus was to see the Father.  He radiated the Father.  He didn’t reflect the Father – He radiated him because – He was Him!  He was three ‘persons’ – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – but just one essence. This is one of those times I am overcome with awe.  I am speechless.

God had absolutely nothing to gain by coming to earth to save us.  He could have gone about each day as before.  Just Him and the angels, singing praises, not having to listen to His people whine and pout all the time because things aren’t going the way they want it to.  To see the devastation of those He created – by those He created.

In the Old Testament God required a sacrifice upon the altar of the shedding of blood to cover the sins of His people.  This purification process cleansed them from the outside in.  By the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, the purification process for us changed.  No longer would there be a need for sacrifices.  No longer would cleansing come from the outside in.  Now, because of the shedding of Christ’s blood for us – God’s own Son – the new purification process came from the inside out.

This man, this God, this One who is holy, pure, unstained, and sovereign – He holds the entire universe in His hands and can sustain it all with a mere word.  A powerful word.  I remember contemplating on a verse from the book of Psalms: “He lifts His voice, the earth melts.” [Psalm 46:6].  Another thought that brings you to your knees.

I don’t know about you, but when I give myself time to think about such things, I cannot comprehend it.  It is too much.  There is such a picture of awe and reverence.  I’ve heard a saying, “The closer you get to God, the more sinful you realize you are.”  Pastor Tanner put a twist on that…

The more we grow in our walk with the Lord, the more we realize how great he really is.  And, the ‘bigger’ we get in our walk, the bigger He’ll be.

We haven’t even scratched the surface of God’s glory.

Forget It and Keep Running

The other day I was reading in the book of Philippians where it says, “Forget what is behindfall and strain toward what is ahead….”  As I read that, I stopped and thought about it a while.  Everyone who has spent much time reading God’s word or going to church, has most likely heard that verse a few times either quoted, preached about or had a Bible study on its value in our lives of children of God.

However, when I read it the other day, I thought to myself, every moment right before the one just lived is a moment in the past—even though it may not have even been more than five moments ago.

So, suppose I am trying to do something for a friend, and in the middle of my task I am criticized by someone who thinks they could have done it better, done it right, or whatever.  As soon as they have finished expressing their (perhaps unwanted) opinion, what was said is now in the past.  We shouldn’t go there. We’re to forget about it.  To me, that means forgiveness must happen as soon as possible. However, sometimes the pain that has been inflicted at us isn’t just a prick or thorn, but a massive piece of splintered wood jabbed into our side.  Sometimes the forgiveness must be worked through. (That sure gives new insight to the command of forgiving those who sin against us, seventy times seven.)

The second half of that verse tells us to strain toward what is ahead.  Have you noticed that both parts of this verse are difficult things for us to do in our own strength? Our natural tendency when we get hurt is to shrink back, get revenge, or hold a grudge.  We don’t naturally feel like forgiving.  And in the same sense, after we’ve been hurt, we don’t feel like straining toward anything.  We want to curl up and hide.  Straining is too hard and requires some amount and/or some level of pain.

God never said that this life was going to be easy to live through.  But He did give us a goal to strive for and run to.  A goal that makes the pain and the heartache of this life worth bearing.  It’s the prize that is promised if we will trust that He has—at all times—our best interest in His mind and we should not hesitate in desiring to be faithful in following Him.  It is a prize waiting at the finish line.  It won’t be a four foot trophy of bronze or a stylish, slick and shiny new watch made of silver and gold.  When we cross that finish line, weary and spent, we will be restored and renewed by the intimate presence of our Lord.  And He will be waiting with open arms to welcome us home as He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Our part?  Don’t look back.

Forget the past…  Forgive and just keep running, straining ahead to receive your prize as He welcomes you home.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

buggy roses 2While coming home after dropping my granddaughter off at her house, I was sitting behind a car with a bumper sticker on the back that read: “Don’t believe everything you think.” Most of us would have read that quickly as, “Don’t believe everything you read,” or “Don’t believe everything you hear,” before realizing it wasn’t what we expected. I read it again to make sure I had read it correctly.

Don’t believe everything you think. That got me thinking…

How often do we listen to the small, condemning voice(s) in our heads, eventually believing that we are of little worth, hopeless, without purpose and on and on the recordings go, starting over again once they’ve stopped.

Many of us are expert at focusing on our negative qualities. We can all too often see ourselves as worthless, serving no purpose on earth, wandering aimlessly around and wondering what we are doing here.

Perhaps we were abused in some way, to some capacity and we were left to feel ashamed. Perhaps in our childhood there existed no examples of unconditional love and the love we did receive, we had to earn. Perhaps, we just never learned to listen to the truth.

I once read that it takes at least seven acts/words of praise to cover one act/word of condemnation. Hurtful words, untruths—they hurt. Whether they come from someone else’s mouth or from our own head—they destroy. Whether they are true or not, we tend to dwell on them and dwelling on the negative ones, the lies, the condemnations—these are often what we tend to veer toward first.

We sometimes can’t do anything about the words another person else chooses to use, but we can do something about the words we think about. We can begin to fill our minds with that which is good and pure, moral and righteous… these are the things upon which our minds should be dwelling—not the “I can’t do anything right,” or “Everything I touch turns to a mess,” or the “I’ll never be any good at anything or for anyone” tapes that rewind over and over again in our mind of muddled thinking.

So, like that bumper sticker suggests–don’t believe everything you think. It very well may not be the truth.

Never Give Up

resizeDo you ever feel like throwing in the towel? Okay, forget the towel. Sometimes you just feel like throwing something really big and watching it crash, thinking somehow that will solve the stress of the moment.

The other day I was trying to change my granddaughter’s diaper and she wasn’t interested in a clean diaper. What she was interested in was kicking her legs all over the place. I finally leaned over her and in a lighthearted way, backed by some real frustration, I screamed.

She began laughing as if it were the funniest thing she had witnessed. Her laughter was contagious. My screaming was contagious. I began to laugh and she began to scream. The frustration passed and we laughed harder at that moment than the rest of the day.

God teaches amazing lessons through little children. For example, it’s so much better to laugh than to cry, but it doesn’t always seem that way, does it? There are moments when there’s nothing left to do but cry. That’s when we run and hide in the shadow of God’s wings. Like a child. A child in need of a daddy who will comfort, protect, heal, and, if needed, forgive.

Are you feeling beat up? Alone? Hurt? Empty? Run to Jesus. Let Him hide you in His mercy and grace. He’s waiting and willing. Just run.

If you need someone to pray for you, to intercede on your behalf through this tough spot you find yourself in, I’d love to come alongside of you and be a friend. Feel free to leave your request through an anonymous comment (or your name if you wish, but it will be seen by others). You are not alone.