Tag Archives: disabilities

Wonderfully Difficult Times

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print-6-closer-webToday I was reminded of a very difficult time in my life, thanks to a dear PD’er.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.

The worst of times… My life was literally falling apart. Physcially, the doctors were trying to decide if I had MS, RA, a brain tumor or Lupus. Something was causing the optic nerve in my eye to hemmorage and they were baffled. The choices were non-inviting. It became a waiting game.

My three children were all under the age of 8, I was working and for some reason that I could feel in my gut yet couldn’t identify, other areas of my life were falling apart. The agony lasted for 15 years.

I was weak and impressionable and I trusted everyone. I learned that the only one you can trust one hundred percent of the time is the Lord.

Enter, the best of times…

Due to my ongoing circumstances, I learned to lean on God as never before and it was during that time that He became more than the Creator of the heavens and earth – He became my constant companion, my dearest friend, my daddy. In the midst of the pain, the confusion, the heartache – He was enough. On days when the storms thundered and the clouds rained misery, He gave me grace to keep walking forward and strength to do it well. He gave me hope and a peace that truly lived up to His promise of going beyond understanding. It became the best of times in my walk with a mighty God.

I am in another season of trials and tribulations and due to the prompting of what has become a dear friend here, I am opening the private pages of my journal to give you a glimpse of what the last week has been like., a mere snippet of the past year. Because, I was reminded that I don’t walk this road alone as we have others in our lives who will walk with us, although sometimes they have to be made aware of our needs. But more importantly, we have a heavenly Father who promises to not leave us or forsake us. And that is who I will trust for this season of my life. That is who, when the pain pierces my heart and the tears fall without end, I will run to.

During the best of times, I remember often crying myself to sleep. Weary and broken, I would curl up in bed and peace would cover me. I know it was the arms of my Daddy wrapping around me as He whispered, “I will take care of you.”

It was there I learned He means what He says.

This week is not the worst of times but it’s been a test. And when I was in school, before a test I would pray that God would help me to remember the things I needed to know. Well, during this life test, I am praying that God will help me to remember what I need to know… that His arms are around me, holding me close. And He’s not going anywhere. In that, I can trust and in trusting, I am able to rest.

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Parkinson’s Disease Is Discovered In The Bible!

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I don’t know how many of you believe in God, but did you know that God talks about Parkinson’s in the Bible? Check it out!

David tells us in Psalm 21:7 that ‘through the unfailing love of the Lord, we will not be shaken. I am sure he meant to spell it ‘shakin’’!!!

Then, take a look at Psalm 16. In verse 11 it talks of the fact of the Lord always being at our right hand and because of that fact, we will not be shakin’! (Again, note the misspelling of the word.) I find this verse speaking to me so personally as my PD is on my right side! Isn’t it amazing how God is so personal?!

David brings up Parkinson’s again in chapter 62. In verse 6, he speaks of God being the only place he is able to find rest. Isn’t that so true? Don’t we try to find rest where often it can never be found? We take another pill only to realize it just didn’t do what we had hoped. We consult another doctor, another specialist, only to realize that they really don’t know anymore than the last guy we put our hope in.

David said in chapter 62 that God alone is our rock, our fortress and it is only in Him alone that we will not be shaken. Now, I know that David is really not speaking of PD, but he may as well be, for in our diseases, our afflictions, our distresses and despair, David reminds us that God alone is the rock that we can stand on and find strength. He alone is our fortress, the One and only One who will hold us up and while I know that David intends ‘shaken’ to refer to as fearful, stirred up, nervous, anxious, distressed – don’t we tend to shake more, increase in tremor activity when we are shaken? Therefore, it seems to make perfect sense that David is truly speaking of PD! For, when we allow ourselves to succumb to the stresses of life, such as PD, we are shaken! We do not stand firm and find our strength in the Lord and often are shakin’! I know that describes me!

You may think I’m crazy. But, God is speaking to the hurting, the wounded, those afflicted with a disease they never asked for. And he speaks to us clear to the end, where in Revelation He gives us great hope:

He will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain… (Revelation 21:4)

Don’t miss that!

Every tear.

Not just mine. Not just one. Not just those that are shed in silence. But every tear. Because, there will be no more death, no more mourning, no more crying, no more pain. Like the tears, the pain will be wiped away.

We will dance upon feet that are sure of each step and no longer fear a fall. We will rejoice and sing with voices loud, where once others strained to hear. And we will lift our hands in praise without pain. And we will no longer be shakin’. Or was that, shaken?

I don’t know how many of you believe in God, but did you know that God talks about Parkinson’s in the Bible? Check it out!

David tells us in Psalm 21:7 that ‘through the unfailing love of the Lord, we will not be shaken. I am sure he meant to spell it ‘shakin’’!!!

Then, take a look at Psalm 16. In verse 11 it talks of the fact of the Lord always being at our right hand and because of that fact, we will not be shakin’! (Again, note the misspelling of the word.) I find this verse speaking to me so personally as my PD is on my right side! Isn’t it amazing how God is so personal?!

David brings up Parkinson’s again in chapter 62. In verse 6, he speaks of God being the only place he is able to find rest. Isn’t that so true? Don’t we try to find rest where often it can never be found? We take another pill only to realize it just didn’t do what we had hoped. We consult another doctor, another specialist, only to realize that they really don’t know anymore than the last guy we put our hope in.

David said in chapter 62 that God alone is our rock, our fortress and it is only in Him alone that we will not be shaken. Now, I know that David is really not speaking of PD, but he may as well be, for in our diseases, our afflictions, our distresses and despair, David reminds us that God alone is the rock that we can stand on and find strength. He alone is our fortress, the One and only One who will hold us up and while I know that David intends ‘shaken’ to refer to as fearful, stirred up, nervous, anxious, distressed – don’t we tend to shake more, increase in tremor activity when we are shaken? Therefore, it seems to make perfect sense that David is truly speaking of PD! For, when we allow ourselves to succumb to the stresses of life, such as PD, we are shaken! We do not stand firm and find our strength in the Lord and often are shakin’! I know that describes me!

You may think I’m crazy. But, God is speaking to the hurting, the wounded, those afflicted with a disease they never asked for. And he speaks to us clear to the end, where in Revelation He gives us great hope:

He will wipe every tear from our eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain… (Revelation 21:4)

Don’t miss that!

Every tear.

Not just mine. Not just one. Not just those that are shed in silence. But every tear. Because, there will be no more death, no more mourning, no more crying, no more pain. Like the tears, the pain will be wiped away.

We will dance upon feet that are sure of each step and no longer fear a fall. We will rejoice and sing with voices loud, where once others strained to hear. And we will lift our hands in praise without pain. And we will no longer be shakin’. Or was that, shaken?

Finding Hope

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I have been smiling all day today, thinking about yesterday.

I woke up at eight. I had been up late the night before, working on a novel I am writing and revising and revising and revising and… you get the picture. I got up, showered, got dressed and my daughter drove me to church. I had been there about ten minutes, and realized suddenly that my new medication didn’t like me. Or vice versa. After making a beeline to the restroom, I finally returned to my seat, next to my daughter and listened to the others in the building sing and it was heavenly.

The guest speaker got up and delivered his message – one of hope – and then we all went out to where the skeleton of the new worship center stood, surrounded by bulldozers and dirt and rocks. But, tucked inside the walls of that new structure, were two by four studs with names written all over them of loved ones who are lost. And on one of those studs there is written the name of my son.

The pastor spoke of a little girl in the Friday night service who found the names of her parents that she had written there two years ago, when those studs lay on the ground, waiting for the day they would be used in this building. She sobbed and he asked her grandmother why she was crying. The child, now nine, didn’t know her parents, as she had been abandoned by them when she was only three.

I stood there in awe. One of the characters in my book, that I had just inserted the night before, was nine, lived with her grandmother and had been abandoned by her parents at birth, never to see them again. I felt confirmed that I was on the right track. Or is that the ‘write’ track?
Anyhow, I went home and changed and then went to a church picnic with another church family, where five kids I knew were being baptized. One little girl I mentor, two others who are dear to me and another, the son of a dear friend. I watched each take a step of faith and in obedience, get dunked by the pastor. Total, nine were baptized yesterday on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the lake. I am certain there were angels singing.
I then went home and had a nap and slept for over an hour, which is long for me, but still feeling woozy from my medication.

I fixed a quick dinner, as we were expected at my son and daughter in-law’s house for dinner. So at 7:30 we arrived, right on time and joined the rest of the family – my daughter in-law’s mother, who is a very dear friend of mine, and her father, her sister and brother in-law and my other two grown children were there, as well.

After finishing our ice cream, an announcement was made to all that I am going to be a grandma. Wait, no. That’s what I heard, but the announcement was actually that they are going to be parents. Yes, that’s how it went. But all I heard was that I am going to be a grandma and I grinned from ear to ear – at least.

After visiting a while longer, I went home with my other son and took a blanket from off of the chest against the wall and my daughter and I went out to the back yard, crawled up on the trampoline and watched the meteor shower. It was awesome.

There are not that many days anymore that are that full. There are not many days when I don’t hurt or feel ‘great’, but there are not many days that I find out that I’m going to be a grandma, either. It was wonderful.

Life Lessons Using A Rubber Duck

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Well, it’s time for an update of some sort, don’tcha think? Time goes by sooooooooo fast and other days, seems so slow. Sounds like a song.

I met a new PD’er online. Now there’s three of us who are addicted to online PD conference chats at 3 in the morning because the RLS is keeping us up (and alert) or the meds to stop the RLS is keeping us up (and alert). Which do you prefer? Survey says…

Well, we are trying to sell our home. Not easy these days, you know. I was struggling with all of the issues surrounding this big thing in my life and for this entry, I wanted to share what I learned. This comes from another blog I do called Planting Gardens – www.plantinggardens.blogspot.com. Here it is:

LIFE LESSONS WITH A DUCK
by Sherri Woodbridge

I have come to my mom and dad’s, to spend some time with them. I think I am also trying to spend some time getting my emotions, feelings, thoughts and feelings under control. I cannot stop crying when I think of my kids and having to leave them, not knowing the next time when I will see them again.

Is that what is known as the empty nest syndrome? Is there some way to get those feathery fellows to fly home? Is this part of ‘letting go’? I suppose it is, but surely I do not have to like it. I am most certain Paul did not like going to jail and yet, he praised God while he was there.

There is a song that goes something like this:

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be His name

He gives and takes away

My heart will truly say…

Lord, blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out,

I’ll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in,

Still I will say,

Blessed be your name.

He gave me my family and in a sense has chosen to take most of them away by moving them to other parts of the country. In this darkness that seems to be enveloping me, I can choose to cower to it or I can choose to praise Him in spite of it. Will my heart truly say, Lord, blessed be your name?

I am awake and the rest of those in the house are sleeping. I have opened the shades to watch the water rush by in the river before me. It is running fast and the river is full.

A duck is floating down the river. He floats alone, seeming quite content and to be enjoying his trip. As the river carries him downstream, he does not fight it. Then he appears to slow down and drift to the side, sitting for about ten minutes as he preens himself.

For some odd reason, I feel anxious for him as he wades to the side – alone. Where is his family? Where are his friends? Why is no one else coming? Doesn’t he know that if he keeps going and doesn’t go back he’ll most likely drown at the falls?

A thousand thoughts crowd my mind, as I panic for this duck. Then I notice – he doesn’t appear worried at all. He is still quite content, over there on the side by himself.

I can be like that duck, if I choose. I can allow God to take me downstream, through rushing waters, knowing not where the river will take me and enjoy the ride – alone. I would prefer to be traveling down that river with all of my family around me, knowing they are there if I need them – being there if they need me. But ultimately? All I really need is to trust God and lean on Him alone. All I really need is… Him. He will take me safely and securely, allowing me to drift off to the side every now and then to find renewed strength and rest.

I continue to watch that duck and as he starts back out for another jaunt, he only goes about ten feet on his next venture before trying to go back upstream – back to where he came from. As I watch him, he struggles in his fight, going in the opposite direction from where the river is trying to take him.

It is then that I realize – that is what I am doing. I am fighting God. I want to go back upstream to where I came from, to how it used to be – Sunday dinners with everyone there, game nights, making homemade ice cream, watching Boo – seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Yet, for some reason, God has taken me down this river of life. It
is a river that twists and turns and even so, while not having the slightest idea of where it is running to, unaware of what is around the bend, oblivious of where I am going to end up, I hear Him whisper, Will you trust Me?

Will I? Will I drift to the side and rest a while, allowing God to be the one to fill the hole in my heart? Will I sit there with Him, letting Him be the one who dries my tears as He pushes away the darkness that surrounds me? Will I realize that He is the river that takes me to unknown places? Will I quit fighting Him by trying to swim back upstream to what used to be?
Will I turn to Him, with an aching heart and still say, Blessed be Your name?

In surrender, I pull up my webbed feet that have become strong from fighting and trying to go my way, and I allow Him to bring me to His side and rest.

Yes. I will trust Him. After all, He is all I need.

Oh Lord, forgive me. This morning I prayed for new eyes to see you in my life and you gave me a new picture by using, of all things, a duck. Help me to be like that duck – content with just You – needing only You. Help me to float down this river of life with You, knowing You will take care of me, pushing away the darkness that closes in. When I am tired and my heart aches, pull me to the side and hide me under Your wings, just as a mother bird protects her young. Then, when it is time to float again, let me not look back and want to go back upstream, fighting You in the process but to look ahead, even if I don’t know where You are taking me. I want to trust You. No matter where You take me or how I may get there, at each turn, I want to look to You and say, blessed be Your name.

I would encourage you that if you’re struggling with anything today, there is a God who cares and is waiting to take you under His wings and hold you close. All you have to do is… let Him.

Life’s Disappointments

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I am writing this for Saturday morning, for the iTeam.

The iTeam is a group of four women, of which I am one. We all met on the internet, via support groups for PD. We were all meeting today in Georgia for the Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease Conference slated for this weekend. I say ‘were meeting’ for now, I am not. I missed my flight.

Sure, I shed a few tears. Well, maybe several. However, I didn’t sob. I didn’t swear. I didn’t give the employee who sent six people with tickets in their hands, ready to check in – all be it with 45 minutes until take off – I didn’t give him an icy stare or think bad thoughts in my head. (Those emotions will come later -ha). Yet, I was surprised at my immediate reaction.

Getting mad, passing blame will not make this better, and God works all things together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Wow. Where did that come from? I guess I’m growing up – a little bit – again. Nevertheless, I am disappointed. Disappointed that I will not get to meet these three women who have become very dear to me. Disappointed that I will not hear the talk about DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation) that my doctor is recommending that I have done within the next year. Disappointed. Just plain disappointed. And yet… I am joyful.

I went to see my neurologist last week and he asked his normal questions. Someone usually goes with me to these appointments to be my personal memory assistant. That day, my husband went. At one point, he had to leave the room and as he closed the door behind him, my doctor turned to me and said, “Good. I feel like you can never say what you want when someone is here. So tell me, how are you doing? How are your moods?”

For those of you that are not very familiar with PD, depression is one of the main symptoms we get to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

“You have a lot of reasons to be down right now.” Then, he actually listed all the reasons I had to be down as he counted them on his fingers. (He’s got a great memory!)

“Your husband’s out of work. Your daughter just graduated and is trying to find a job to pay her loans. Your son and his wife just moved away with your new granddaughter. Your other son is trying to find his way through life. You have PD.”

That’s just what he knew! As he listed them, I thought, ‘Yeah! I do have every right to be down!“

I looked at him and then answered. “I do have a lot of reasons to be down right now, but I still feel joyful.”

I still feel joyful. In spite of my disappointment today, there is joy. There is joy because I have hope. I have hope because I believe God works all things together for good. I believe that He works all things together for good because I know that He loves me and knows what is best for me.

For some reason, I didn’t make my flight. For some reason God had other plans. I may find out what they are or I may not. Regardless, I believe that whatever the reason, it is the best.

Excuse me while I answer my phone…

Well, I have to go – my son was just in an accident.

I’m back…

He’s okay. An older woman hit his car. Hmmm… I wonder if that’s one of God’s reasons.

Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.“

It’s true. I choose not to grieve over my disappointment because He is my joy and my strength and I hope that this day you find joy and strength in Him, as well.

Live Today

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I received an email from someone concerned that they may have the beginnings of Parkinson’s Disease. I have met others who have PD, but not someone in the throws of wondering if the symptoms that they are experiencing are, in fact, PD.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I think because it takes me back to my diagnosis, to my days of wondering what was going on. I can relate so well and, I can understand, all too well.

He is scared, wondering if he does have PD, and I am able to look back and see myself where he is now – scared, uncertain, and desperate. I can now see that, even though the future is still uncertain, I have been blessed with a wonderful doctor, the support of friends and family and more than anything, been given the opportunity to encourage and come alongside of others. I was not able to see those things then, the fear taking away everything else that was in my future and leaving a sense of hopelessness.

Isn’t the future, in reality, uncertain for each of us, whether we have been diagnosed with a disease or not? None of us knows how the end will turn out or when will be the last time we will tuck our babies in bed at night.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes:

“Dance as if no one were watching,
sing as if no one were listing,
and live everyday as if it were to be your last.”

That is how I want to live each day, whether I am fighting with PD or making peace with it. I want to dance without reserve, even if I stumble. I want to sing at the top of my lungs, even if others think I’m still whispering. And, I want live each day as if it is my last opportunity for anything, even if I am given a tomorrow.

It is a hard thing to do – to live like that. There are so many distractions, so many reminders that we are not ‘whole’. With distractions that plunge their way into our daily paths and constant reminders from our bodies that struggle against their own desire to be free from disease, we can, however, choose to have the attitude of living life to its fullest and enjoying the journey, even if it’s not the one we would have chosen. It always seems better to wear a face of hope than that of despair.

I would like to encourage all of you, whether you have been dealing with a disease of any kind, whether you have just been diagnosed, or perhaps you are wondering if the symptoms that have just started are anything worth fretting over – live this day as if it were your last – dance and sing. Do it without reserve. I dare you. Oh, and don’t forget to tell someone you love them – at least once.

I’ll Have It His Way

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I went to see a movie the other night with my daughter. Now, don’t laugh…

High School Musical 3 – Senior Year.

I haven’t watched the first two movies, but have heard from various sources that they were commendable. So, as I’m a sucker for musicals and while my husband and son went to the shoot ‘em up production in the theater adjacent to us, we went in to see ours.

We were the only people in there and had a great time. The only problem with these types of movies though… The repressed desire to sing and to dance is reawakened (much to my family’s despair). I left the theater singing The Boys are Back. I added a few little moves to the words that I could remember (which were few) and a couple dance moves. Yes, the attendant behind the snack bar laughed. And then in one of my graceful moves, I threw out my back. The pain seared through the entire middle. Fortunately, it didn’t last too long.

What was unfortunate, however, was facing my PD once again. Knowing that no matter what my heart desires, this PD – this thief – will determine whether I can do it or not. It won’t be my decision to make.

But…

If I had my way, I’d join a dance class and learn to waltz.

If I had my way, I’d go skiing one more time.

If I had my way, I’d play softball and hit a homerun and run all the bases myself.

If I had my way, I’d put my own socks and shoes on.

If I had my way, I’d insist that I can do it myself.

If I had my way, I’d do many things.

Things that I used to be able to do when I had my way.

But today is different. I can’t have my way. PD has seen to that.

I’ve had to learn to receive and not always be able to give.

I’ve had to learn dancing will have to wait, at least for now.

I’ve had to learn skiing is not for me.

I’ve had to learn others are willing to do what I cannot do.

I’ve learned, unlike Frank Sinatra, that I don’t always have to have or do it my way.

And that’s okay, because I know that for some reason, this path I am on is His way and that’s the only direction I want to go. I also know that when I reach the destiny He has set before me, He will be waiting on the dance floor of heaven, just for me.

Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef, or Cheerios?

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It’s Thanksgiving. Another day we are granted, to legally give thanks. So, what are you thankful for this year?

A tradition always held at the dinnertime at my in-laws, was to take turns around the table saying what you were thankful for the past year. Have you ever noticed that when you take the time to think about what there is to be thankful about, one thing can lead to another and there wouldn’t be enough time in the day to list it all.

So, we’d love to hear what you’re thankful for. I’ll start.

I am thankful for…

the love of a God who loves me so much that He’ll never give up on me.

A husband that stays by my side through thick and thin.

Three wonderful kids who encourage and support me, endlessly.

The most beautiful granddaughter ever. Really, she is.

A home.

My daily bread and sometimes dessert too.

Friends.

And, this day. To reflect God’s goodness in my life. Without Him, I would be absolutely nothing. Like a worm even, scavenging through the earth, digging to China or who knows where, without an obvious reason/purpose.

But I have a purpose. To love God and worship Him alone. To love people. The group 4Him once sang a song with those words, titling it The Center of the Mark. And that is my desire. To hit the center of the mark.

Fact or Feeling?

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I used to wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see… and comment on. Not that I wanted to. Who am I kidding? I still wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see… and comment on. Not that I want to.

It is a curse, one might say, to be so vulnerable. It is a curse in the sense that you want to keep the feelings that are so deeply felt, hidden away so no one can see. Really, so they can’t mock or tease or condemn. At least it feels that way sometimes.

It is a curse in the sense that you want to keep those feelings that are so deeply felt, hidden so you don’t have to deal with them. Feelings of loss. Feelings of isolation. Feelings of inadequacy. Feelings you have when you have what others don’t. And you want to keep them hidden because they don’t, they won’t, they can’t understand.

Mulitple Schlerosis.

Lupus.

Pancreatic Cancer.

Alzheimers.

Breast Cancer.

Alzheimers.

Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Prostate Cancer.

Crone’s Disease.

Unless you’ve got it, or a disease like it, you won’t, you don’t, you can’t get it. You can’t understand. Not that you don’t want to, but you just can’t. Not fully, anyhow.

You can sympathize, you can pity, you can encourage and support, but you can’t understand. And so, some try to empathize, rationalize, apologize and humorize the situation. But sometimes, it’s not funny, there’s no rational reason one awakes day after day to face their foe in the mirror, nor is it anyone’s fault that they or a loved one suffers with a disease.

I guess I’ve felt a bit frustrated of late, feeling as if some people in my life ‘don’t get it’. I get to the point that I don’t want to even mention PD because it is viewed as an excuse for pain, stiffness, memory loss, or any other ailment I might be experiencing at the time. Sometimes it seems that the fact of my disease, being ever present in my body, has disappeared from sight to the outer world. Yet, I know it is there as it hides within and can definitely be felt moment by moment.

As recipients of a disease or illness, we try when our bodies and our energy levels permit, to do what we are able – garden, write, work on cars, play games, socialize… We have a new vision for the short time we are allotted here on earth and strive to make the most of it. There are some days we feel we could climb a mountain ( a little one) and there are other days when we know we can’t even walk to the base of a hill. It may even hurt to glance upward to look into the sky. These are the days when sometimes others watch us (me) and I wonder if they think PD can’t be so bad. Look at her! She’s digging up flowers! No one with a disability would have that much energy or strength.

To be fair, I often don’t, just as others I know with PD don’t. We push ourselves in the tasks we yearn to function in and finish because it feels good to be used, to be useful, to work, to move. Yes, we push even in the pain because, at least for me, the pain says I’m alive, I can still do it – today. And yes, it also cautions me to take it a little easier, but not so easy that all that is left is to sit and watch life instead of participate in it.

I may wish to hide what’s going on inside, but I’ve never been good at it. I wear a feeling of loss at times, because the fact is, I’ve lost something – control. And I wear a feeling of isolation – a feeling of being alone in the fight. I wear inadequacy by feeling I can’t do, can’t offer what I used to. Everything’s just a little harder to accomplish. But as hard as things may be at times by dealing with something others can’t understand, people mean well. They intentions are honorable and they are trying to deal with this intruder from a different angle: it’s taken a part of the one they love or it’s trying to.

So I guess I’m thankful that sometimes I wear my heart on my sleeve because sometimes I don’t want to give this monster any more attention and talk about it. But sometimes I need to and that’s when someone asks how it’s going and if my answer is a little less than accurate, they glance at my heart laying there bare for all to see and re-examine my answer.

You sure? they ask after receiving a less than convincing ‘Okay’ response.

Fine. You’ve got me. I’ve got PD and no, I’m not okay. Today I just really need a friend.

**A Friend’s Trip

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The following is a post that was first published on ‘Parkinson’s Journey’, my PD site. It was initiated by my co-author partner of PJ and good friend, Judy Hensley, about her trip that she recently made out west to see four PD friends that had never met in person before this. This is what they had to say about each other after meeting…
About My Friend Karen (by Marian)
I used to think that courage meant not being afraid. I used to think that strength meant not crying when your heart was breaking. Then I met Karen. She showed me that courage means going on even though you’re afraid, and strength means reaching out to others even though you’re crying. Karen has looked into the eyes of despair and rejected it. She has laughed through her tears and defied the odds. She has reached out with a strong hand to help others while her world was turning upside down. She is a wise woman and a joyful (and sometimes frightened) little girl all at the same time, and I’m so proud and happy to say that she is also my friend.
Love ya,
Marian

About my friend Sherri (by Judy)
I learned alot about my friend Sherri when she came to visit me in Tennessee in January, so this is a cumulative summary of some of her characteristics. Sherri is of course a writer, so she soaks up things about people without much outward interaction at first. And then I think she evaluates a person or situation with her heart and mind and interacts in a most sensitive manner. She may seem shy upon first meeting her, but then when she speaks what she says is very thoughtful and sincere. She is tentative about sharing much about herself at first, and she puts on the front of handling life with PD quite well, but I’m pretty sure that is because she puts all the hard life stuff in God’s hands. Her faith is a strength much greater than her own because she has experienced God’s strength in her life before and knows she can depend on it above all others.

While at her home. I got to see her with the ones who make her most proud – her family – but I love the look on her face when she talks about and plays with her ‘bright spot’…her one year old granddaughter. It is a very special bond they share! And I got to share for an afternoon planting and digging in the dirt with her–another one of her passions. And I learned, here is one way we are different….I like admiring the end result of it all…the lovely garden, and will gladly leave the diggin’, sweating, and wondering if what I just planted will grow process to others like her! lol

Sherri may look like she is too serious (PD masked facial look) but she can get zany and silly just as fast as the rest of us!! And her KGB jokes are a riot! To me though, the most impressive characteristic and the trait I most admire in her is her compassionate heart. You immediately sense it, you know it by her words and actions, and in her writings as well. She is selfless, funny, and a wonderful person to know and call my friend.. Thanks Sherri for making my adventure so very special. 4 ever admiring your heart….judy

About my friend Judy (by Karen)
It was nearly two years ago Judy and I met online through a support forum known as Patients Like Me (PLM). She reached out to me through an instant message system they had at PLM. From there a friendship began to blossom. It would not take long before I would really learn exactly what Judy was all about…OK well maybe not exactly she just too unique of an individual for that! Judy has a heart of gold and a spirit of passion for God that stretches beyond the heavens. She has a sense of humor that is infectious especially when she starts to laugh and she also knows how to be not only a compassionate friend, but also giving.

I will never forget the time I came home from work in the afternoon; I was feeling not only emotionally beat up by Parkinson’s but also physically. I had been home on disability and had gone back to work, which was grueling every morning for me. One particular day stands out in my memory; I was too ill to continue my day at work and had to leave after only being at work a few hours. I called Judy on my cell phone en-route home in tears. I felt not only disappointed and betrayed by my body, but embarrassed to admit to my employer that I was having a hard time working a full day. After I had been home for a while my telephone rang; it was Judy on the other end giggling and telling me that when my front door bell rang to open it and sign the paper and please add a tip…I said “What???” she continued to giggle to the point she was in tears on the other end and gasping to catch her breath and then blurted out to me “what kind of pizza do you like??” Yep you guessed it the bighearted Tennessee wild woman ordered me lunch…all the way from Tennessee…I have never had anyone do that for me! Not only was I surprised but so was her credit card company when they called her concerned someone in CA had gotten a hold of her credit card and was using it!! Looking back upon the memory of that very day showed me the heart this gal has for her friends.

Last week Judy made a trip out to the west coast and Marian (another CA gal) and I were on the list of visits…we had a grand time with Judy, Sherri, Marian and myself…No one but Judy could preplan the fun she had in store for us…she went out to the car and returned with a bag filled with small cups of different colors of Play dough…giggled and said “OK everyone pick 3!” We laughed, we sculpted, it was great fun to see four women ranging in age from their 40’s and 50’s so young at heart, each intensely immersed in creating masterpieces! Judy you truly are a wonderful, energetic, vivacious woman…thank you for your friendship!

About my friend Jeanette (by Judy)
I really think I threw my friend in Washington state, Jeanette, a curve ball she never expected when I asked her if I could come and visit her! That’s just the way she is …unassuming the power of her friendship and the blessing of her attitude. If there was a bubbling- over joyous-friend award, she would get it! I so wish she could have come along on the rest of my adventure with me….she would have fit right in…lil bit serious…whole lot of fun and giggles. The other thing so special about Jeanette is how much she just loves people and children and animals. She finds something good in everyone and everything to be grateful to God about. I had the joy of attending her church with her on Sunday morning and it was just a great time of fellowship. Later that day we went on a ferry boat ride and talked Jeanette into coming to Tennessee to visit sometime in the near future. I’m holding her to that promise, no matter what! The thing I absolutely love about Jeanette is her laugh! It is so fun filled and she uses it alot. And she also has the best dead pan humor that is always got me grinning. So Jeanette is my joyful friend. Don’t misunderstand, she has her days too when life gets hard, but it doesn’t take her long to look and find a blessing to claim or something to laugh about in it all, and that’s an amazing thing, I think! Lov ya kiddo…looking forward to you coming to see me in TN!
Judy

About My Friend, Marian (by Sherri)
She walked around the corner as we exited the hotel and I could tell it was Marian by her smile, which matched the one on her Daily Strength and Facebook profiles. We had never officially met, only through the exchange of emails and updates through the PD community.

Marian is quiet and shy but once we all met and exchanged greetings, it was as if we all knew each other forever. Marian makes you feel important and rarely talks about herself but instead asks about you. She has an extremely strong vocabulary, evidenced by her competitive spirit in a game of Cranium. So much so that we blew Judy and her team clear out of the water in that round. An avid reader of such novels such as Moby Dick, she focuses on the importance of its message and not necessarily the size of the fish or what the author chose to name such a massive fish.

If I could use one word to describe Marian, it would be ‘charming’. I’m not sure why, except that is what came to mind. She is funny, witty, innocent in her own way – perhaps it’s because she made an extraordinary ukulele snake charmer couple, complete with baby snakes, out of an ordinary lump of Play-Doh.

Whatever the reason, Marian is a warm and wonderful person who went from being an acquaintance over the internet into a warm and wonderful and wacky person I am honored to call ‘friend’. God is good.
Sherri

About 4 wild women I read about on Facebook by Jeanette (as described by phone to Judy) note: Jeanette knows all four of us online but had only met Judy in person (isn’t she lucky?). For her assignment she was to pick some words or phrases to describe Judy, Sherri, Karen, and Marian from the pics on Facebook of Judy’s trip:
Jeanette on Judy…”drop-dead gorgeous” (further evidence of her insane humor and need for new glasses!), courageous, uniter, joyful (gee, thanks J!–your check is in the mail, lol

Jeanette on Sherri–struggling (to stay awake??? she did drive awhile), deep, enduring, and a great friend (and Judy agrees!)

Jeanette on Karen–love her smile, infectous attitude, intense (note from J: as in Dr. Fernandez –but if she had witnessed the Cranium game she might change this description…lol–you had to be there…no way to describe !)

Jeanette on Marian–looks like she gets along well (with PD and others) and Sparkles as well as great PlayDoh modeler.