Tag Archives: contentment

Live Today

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raised hands

I received an email from someone concerned that they may have the beginnings of Parkinson’s Disease. I have met others who have PD, but not someone in the throws of wondering if the symptoms that they are experiencing are, in fact, PD.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I think because it takes me back to my diagnosis, to my days of wondering what was going on. I can relate so well and, I can understand, all too well.

He is scared, wondering if he does have PD, and I am able to look back and see myself where he is now – scared, uncertain, and desperate. I can now see that, even though the future is still uncertain, I have been blessed with a wonderful doctor, the support of friends and family and more than anything, been given the opportunity to encourage and come alongside of others. I was not able to see those things then, the fear taking away everything else that was in my future and leaving a sense of hopelessness.

Isn’t the future, in reality, uncertain for each of us, whether we have been diagnosed with a disease or not? None of us knows how the end will turn out or when will be the last time we will tuck our babies in bed at night.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes:

“Dance as if no one were watching,
sing as if no one were listing,
and live everyday as if it were to be your last.”

That is how I want to live each day, whether I am fighting with PD or making peace with it. I want to dance without reserve, even if I stumble. I want to sing at the top of my lungs, even if others think I’m still whispering. And, I want live each day as if it is my last opportunity for anything, even if I am given a tomorrow.

It is a hard thing to do – to live like that. There are so many distractions, so many reminders that we are not ‘whole’. With distractions that plunge their way into our daily paths and constant reminders from our bodies that struggle against their own desire to be free from disease, we can, however, choose to have the attitude of living life to its fullest and enjoying the journey, even if it’s not the one we would have chosen. It always seems better to wear a face of hope than that of despair.

I would like to encourage all of you, whether you have been dealing with a disease of any kind, whether you have just been diagnosed, or perhaps you are wondering if the symptoms that have just started are anything worth fretting over – live this day as if it were your last – dance and sing. Do it without reserve. I dare you. Oh, and don’t forget to tell someone you love them – at least once.

Burden or Blessing

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I am journaling our adventure of a new season in life. Currently, my husband and I are gutting a mobile home (you can read all about it at: www.plantinggardens.blogspot.com) and this comes from a previous entry that I re-read today. I thought it somehow seemed relevant for the PJ site. I hope you enjoy it. -sherri
Burden or Blessing…


Back again…
Ken asked today if I was giving serious thought to those Pre-Mobile Home Renovation Pre-Nups. I sneered at him. This was after he hit me on the head with a flying wooden sword that he had just ripped from the wall. And that was after disassembling the bathtub that I’m certain had not been cleaned for well over 38 years. And that was after I fell asleep in the car while I waited for him in the Wal-Mart parking lot, only to be left to dream about washing paneled walls and then to suddenly be woken from a nightmare, thinking that Ken, getting back into the car was the wall falling on top of me that I had been washing in me dreams (at least I think it was in my dreams…).

It’s not that bad, but I don’t think I’ve ever sweated that much, not even running cross-country in high school (ah yes, those were the days…). Just what you wanted to hear!!!

We are busy with the guest room – pulled up carpets, knocked down the closet walls.

The Structure, in its entirety got a new facelift outside when it was power washed for two hours today. That’s how long it took to give it a bath.

We ordered windows today – double paned, white vinyl, 95% UV protection with a 87% energy savings from temperatures in and out (I sound like a guy describing his hot rod). I’m excited (did I say that?!). NEW WINDOWS! You have to see the old to appreciate the new.

Yesterday, while Ken was talking with different guys about different things about doing different work on different projects, I was out pruning roses. Oh – before I forget – I smelled one! It was the most wonderful thing!!! Some of you know that part of PD is losing your sense of smell. Mine’s usually absent but yesterday it was like a ‘What was that?!?’ moment. Then I realized – it was the rose in front of me and it smelled as wonderful as it was beautiful! I haven’t smelled a rose for so long and it was a gift!

Anyhow, as I was basking in the fragrance, LaurieKay, the neighbor I told you about, came out with her granddaughter Isabella. Isabella is 3 months and gave me the biggest smile that warmed my heart. Then she spit up. A lot. (However, that wasn’t what I was going to tell you.)

The side of LaurieKay’s face was all bruised. She had three teeth pulled last Wednesday. No anesthesia, mind you. She was going to have five pulled but couldn’t stand the pain any longer. She has no insurance (many of us can relate, huh?). While she shared that they also found a tumor which they told her they are pretty sure is cancerous, my hand started shaking really bad and she kept looking down at it. Though it was offending me, instead of cutting it off, I stuck it in my pocket and explained why it was acting obnoxious. She looked at me, stunned, in silence for a few seconds and then this is what she said…

“Aren’t we blessed.”

Then I looked at her in silence for a few seconds. Then she went on to explain that she had Crones Disease and diabetes.

“We all have something, don’t we?” she added.

It was her ‘aren’t we blessed’ that stuck with me all day.

You know what? We are. When God has allowed certain circumstances and issues to become a part of our lives – a disease, an illness, a wayward child, a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one – we are blessed. We have been chosen to bear something that for some reason He has decided it is best for us to bear.

Maybe it’s to take us deeper into Him. To rely and depend on Him alone so that He truly becomes our all – in all.

Maybe it’s to make us more compassionate. To be given a sentence of a terminal illness, a chronic disease – often causes the bearer to look at others in a more compassionate way, as their understanding of pain and suffering has increased.

Maybe it’s to make us laugh. They say a great sense of humor is often born through a great deal of pain. Some of the funniest people I know are the ones that have been through the toughest times. They have found that God is their joy and laughter truly is the best medicine.

I believe what LaurieKay said is true. It is a blessing to suffer, although I’ll be the first to admit that I do not always act as if I am being blessed. But when I’m in my right mind (no comments), focused on His grace and goodness and when I’m trusting in His provision through my day, I am blessed. Blessed to have been chosen to bear what others weren’t chosen to bear, chosen to be able to understand more deeply what some never will. I am blessed to have been taken deeper into Him through pain and sorrow through the circumstances in my life and blessed with the gift of being able to laugh at the simplest things. I am not bragging and don’t mean to sound as if I am. Would I choose this blessing? I highly doubt I would have stood in that line of freebies! But looking back at what I’ve learned – the things God has allowed me to experience because of PD and the wonderful people I’ve met and have the privilege of witnessing to and encouraging – then yes. I would have stretched out my hand to God, in trust, and said Thank you for trusting me.

I hope that you find the next tough lesson, trial, or circumstance in your life to truly be a blessing, chosen just for you. And when you think of it, please pray LaurieKay’s results are negative. She’s ready to meet her Lord, but she really likes being able to watch that little granddaughter of hers every day.

**I Wish

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I wish I could form words without someone thinking I was drunk

like saying, “Yes I do think” instead of “Yes I did thunk”.

I wish I could carry a glass with cold ice without shaking

and rattling so loud it sounded like a martini I was making.

I wish I could speak loudly so others didn’t say “Quit muttering”

or thoughtless questions like, “Why are you stuttering?”

I wish I could walk without dragging my feet

and almost trip when others I meet

I wish I could not take pills to make me stand straight

or pills that make me sleepy and then I’m always late.

I wish I could hold things without fear of them dropping

but am thankful I still can walk without always stopping

I wish the pain in my neck and back would disappear

But the stiffness just gets worse is what I hear

I wish brain surgery wasn’t in the future for me

but what is – is and what must be will be

I wish things were different for me

I wish the same for others with this thing called PD

but they’re not and that’s okay

for I’ve learned to be content anyway

I’ve got friends who live near and far

friends who know just who they are

some who understand and some that just care

walking with them I have learned to bear

oh how I thank God for all of it, you see

For without PD these things would not be

the friends, their concern, the many lessons learned

even when my heart’s been heavy, my hope has turned

to the One who’s never left me to walk unsteady

the One who stands faithful, true, protective and ready

oh my Jesus, how can I say how great You are

without tears falling from my face, captured in your jar

tears of fear, tears of pain

tears of weakness turning to strength in You I gain

how can I live one moment of my life

whether filled with smiles or filled with strife

I have seen purposes and plans

that could only have come through Your hands.

so I just want to say thank You

honor, praise and glory to You alone are due

I want to shout Great are You Lord Almighty

for loving, protecting, and carrying me.

by Sherri Woodbridge