I was driving down Wilbur Ave. tonight on the way to the store in pursuit of a birthday gift. Listening to the radio, Matt Redman, a renowned Christian worship leader, was playing. His song was talking about knowing God. So, I began having a conversation with God. It began somewhat like this…
“Lord, I want to know you better and love you more. I know I get so distracted and it’s in no time in my conversations that it seems I’m up and about, attending to whatever demanded my attention away from you.”
I continued to drive and talk…
“It seems it doesn’t take much any more to take my focus off of you. I say I need direction and yet I hurry off to the next important thing…”
I was thankful the traffic was light because that slowed me down and I asked myself, ‘What is the next important thing, anyhow? What is so important that I allow it to capture my attention of the One which I claim I want to know so much more deeply?’
That thought led me to thoughts of fasting and opened my eyes a little more clearly to that area of the Christian life. I know that fasting is giving up something, sacrificing something, in order to show God you’re serious about what you want. At least, that’s how it was explained to me. But, it has always seemed like more than that.
‘Lord’, I say, ‘I am giving up all food for the day so that you will give me guidance for the choices ahead of me.’ And I skip breakfast, forget to pray, and by lunch I’m cheating.
If you’re like me, I’ve taken a bite of sandwich and bam! – I remember that sandwich wasn’t a part of my day. And so I go about the rest of the day living in guilt over the bite I took and the ten other bites I gave my dog and I determine that it won’t happen again.
Fasting… I think about it in terms of showing God I’m serious about a deeper relationship with Him.
I’m serious. I’m determined. I’m sincere.
But then I wonder – am I so serious that I’d be willing to give something up to show God just how serious I am? I thought back to other times in my life… Like when your friend brings a Twinkie to school in their lunch and you have carrots. You determine you’ll make a trade. You say you’ll give them your carrots because you really want that Twinkie. Deal?
No deal.
How about the chips? Deal?
No deal. But they do have something in mind that will satisfy them. The necklace around your neck. You hesitate because your mom gave you that for your birthday and you wear it practically every day. But, you give in and take it off. All because you want that Twinkie so badly.
As you hand over the goods, they give you a fluffy, greasy little cake equipped with preservatives that will keep you alive an extra 5 years.
And so, it makes me wonder, ‘How badly do I want this relationship with God that I speak about? This deeper, intimate relationship that can and will satisfy any hunger or need? Am I willing to say, ‘Lord, what is it you want me to give you?’ And then I have a brilliant idea and I say, ‘I’ll give you my carrots.’
No deal. He doesn’t want the carrots.
Chips?
He’s not into chips.
And He just looks at me. And I look down at my Twinkie. I really wanted that Twinkie. I’ve been waiting all day for that Twinkie.
But I want Him more.
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Fasting has been resonating in my spirit over the last few weeks. I keep thinking, Somethings only come through fasting and praying. I begin to fast and think I could loose about 8 to 10 lbs anyway. Hmmmm! wrong motivation, I know. It is aweful. But God loves us anyway. That’s why I love him because he first loved me. I understand perfectly what you are saying. I was listening to the radio this morning and the local Preacher was preaching about seeking God’s kingdom first. I’ve been fasting about my newly published book, Ever Changiing. The preacher said seek your ministry first..what a good word for me! Now reading your post about fasting I know that I have to fast about my ministry and not my book. My ministry is “Promoting Inner Change Toward Outer Purpose”. My focus has been reknewed. Thanks Sherri.